1) There is such a person. If you text him, he will call you back immediately. Day or night. There is such a person, you ask him, he will listen to you, you don't want to talk to him, and he won't bother you with text messages anymore. He is 10086.
2) Men in the new century: sleeping on the floor, living in the corridor, kneeling on the main board, mending clothes, eating leftovers, prescribing medicines, taking care of children, raising girls, enduring loneliness and striving to be the wolf?
3) Women in the new century: get into the hall, get out of the kitchen, write the code, find the abnormality, kill the Trojan horse, climb over the fence, drive a good car, afford a new house, fight for mistresses and beat hooligans?
4) The term is coming to an end. Let's sing with me. My family lives on a high loess slope, and the wind blows over the slope. Both Chris Lee and Yico Zeng are my brothers. My brother? My family lives on a high loess slope, and the sun passes over it. Whether I admire Brother Chun or Brother Zeng, please bless me to do well in the exam and not fail! ?
5) Review = fail, and no review = fail, so review+no review = fail+fail, and improve the common factor, (1+ no) review = (no+1) fail, so review = fail. Shit, the truth is born?
6) The motherland has not been reunified, so I am not in the mood to review?
7) Time is the best teacher, what a pity? Finally, he killed all the students?
8) Bachelor's degree is above master's degree, master's degree is above doctor's degree, and doctor's degree is above postdoctoral degree. What about the postdoctoral degree? If you are brave enough, you will be a warrior in two years, a strong man in five years and a martyr in seven years. The state will launch a crusade, bronze for two years, silver for five years and gold for seven years.
9) When we first went to college, we watched Struggle and Desire. When we hesitate, we look at who is in charge of my youth. Just when we were about to be suddenly enlightened, a humble abode shot us all to death. In despair, we watched 20 12 and suddenly became calm. What house to buy? It will collapse sooner or later!
10) in high school, we are as busy as grandchildren, but we can still be as happy as SB; University, we idle away, but we can't find the happiness of being a grandson?
1 1) Work, take a step back, fall in love, take a step back, and the building is empty.
12) Many Beijingers like me and want to invite me to perform in Beijing, but I won't go. I said that if you like me, you can fly to Shanghai to see me, which will also boost Shanghai's GDP.
13) The stock market is related to the divorce rate. The divorce rate below 2000 points is normal, rising above 3000 points and reaching a new high above 6000 points.
14) Shareholders are all told that they are making money, and they all encounter losses. Don't believe when the bull market comes, and don't admit when the bear market comes.
15) house prices have become a permanent pain in the hearts of ordinary people. Tomson Yipin sold 65438+100000 square meters a few years ago, but no one bought it. This year, it has risen to 65438+ 10.6 million square meters, and several sets have been sold. Why does it have nothing to do with ordinary people? 160,000 discount to 8. 1 10,000 square meters. Will you buy it? I still can't afford it. If we make a break, it will be 80,000, 4. 1 in case of square meters, I still can't afford it. I don't want this house for me, because I can't afford the property management fee.
16) When you fail, treat it as a life treasure; Success is a rich life.
17) When education is linked to money, teachers become bosses, students become apprentices and parents become ATMs.
18) The mainstream audience of the Spring Festival Gala is 900 million farmers. If Zhou Libo is a side dish of Shanghainese, then Zhao Benshan is the northern jiaozi of the whole people.
19) It's yours when you run out of money. Open your wallet and look at the unused money. What is printed on it? China People's Bank? It's none of your business.
20) Help the leader to do 100 good things, it is better to do 1 bad things with the leader.
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What do you mean by white-collar workers? That is to use up all the wages received, that is, use the monthly salary to repay the mortgage and support Xiao Ning and adoptive parents, basically? White collar? Yes No desire is just. All the people who grovel in the unit are people who have mortgages to pay back. Why are Japanese so polite? Because they all have loans.
You're not just greedy. Seeing that all the money is made public, it can't be called public. It's just blooming.
23) When I get rich, shall we buy lollipops and two? ! Look, I'll eat one, and I'll show you another.
24) BBK, be gentle, where is the point, my mother doesn't have to worry about my study anymore.
25) Don't think that just because you have Tan Can can cover up the fact that you are an idiot.
26) Brother, can you lower the resolution on your face a little?
27) I wanted to let the paper plane take me into your heart, but it crashed halfway.
28) Comfort others, but you can't comfort yourself after all.
29) If cutting my hair means cutting my memory, will I lose my memory if I cut my hair?
30) die unsatisfied, die unsatisfied. ...
3 1) It's not that I don't fold the quilt, but that I miss the past very much, that is, I like the quilt that I slept the day before. I have to raise this living habit problem to personality cultivation.
32) The antonym of love is not love, but love.
33) Philosophers are illegal. ...
34) This girl, first of all, there is a generation gap between us. Secondly, you have no cleavage. How do we communicate?
35) Knowledge is like underwear, which is invisible but important.
36) Choose 45 yourself? Look up to others and don't blame others 135? Looking down at you.
A selection of funny words for friends:
1) joke 1: in junior high school, a girl binged on milk to grow taller, but she ended up with breasts. One day, the teacher came into the classroom and saw two or three students sleeping on the table, so they woke up one by one. After returning to the podium, the teacher glanced at the class, and finally ...
2) There are two kinds of men, one is lascivious and the other is very lascivious; There are two kinds of women, one is pretending to be pure, and the other is pretending to be impure.
3) I only have one wish every day? Still alive tomorrow!
4) I have been busy and bored!
5) If you don't sleep in class, you will get drunk on the wine table.
6) Excuse me, Miss, would you please take your chest away from my hand?
7) There are no birds during the day, and the birds are fine at night.
8) The three most painful things for men: being caught by a lover to accompany his wife to buy food; Caught by his wife shopping with sympathizers; Trapped in an alley by his wife and lover at the same time.
9) The monk said:? Do you think I am a vegetarian? The nun said:? I didn't see anything! ?
10) You planted a girlfriend in the back hill in spring, and you are cuckolded everywhere in autumn!
People who read funny words to their friends will still read:
1. Funny and praising other people's stories
2. Interesting farewell words for friends