(appearance)

B: hello, audience friends. Today I will tell you a cross talk. I hope you like it. Talk to me about this. . . (Looking around) Hey! I came up with this. Why didn't you see anyone? What's wrong!

A: Here it is. I said I don't want to work with people like you? Today, as soon as we came on stage, I saw the faces of the audience. Today's performance was a disaster.

B: What's the matter?

You are on the stage! Dear audience friends, when this * * appears, (b turns from laughter to anger, getting more and more angry) audience friends must be very worried. * * Two outcrops, cross talk is no longer interesting. * * Three outcrops in the field scared a cow to death. * * Four outcrops, jumping off buildings all over the country. * * Five. . .

Fuck you. (Pushing away the armor) Hey! ***? (A sees A's face when he comes back) How did his face get swollen after several days?

I ate too much steamed bread. (a touches his face)

What a pity! Eating too many steamed buns will make your face swollen.

A: (Looking around) Oh. That's the tension of going on stage. This is going to be on stage. When you are nervous, you are not careful, you don't pay attention. Poof, my face is swollen. (spray words on B's face)

Too much. (Wipe your face) Poof, your face is swollen. (Response A) Don't tell the truth!

A: No, today everyone came to listen to our cross talk and said that our faces were swollen. (whispering to b)

B: This is what the audience likes to hear. We said, didn't we?

A: Thank you for your support and love for my face over the years. . .

Don't flatter yourself. Go!

Did I fail the exam today? (Helpless expression)

B: Your face was swollen when you failed?

A: (Gave B a white look) I'm not afraid of jokes. Because of my family, I like playing table tennis. Therefore, my family implements the competition scoring system.

B: combine exercise with study. This is good!

A: Not bad! If my score is below 80, tonight's game will be women's singles.

B: Wait a minute! What is a women's singles?

A: My mother hit me alone.

Oh! Such a woman is single.

A: If the score is below 70. Then the competition will be changed to men's singles.

I see. His father beat him alone. So you failed the exam this time. What should the game be?

A: Everyone knows, mixed doubles!

B: Let's go together! All right. Can this face not swell?

A: There is a couplet on my wall, which is very telling.

B: and couplets!

A: That's right. The first part is, I will scold you if I say it, and I will scold you if I am right.

B: The second part.

A: Call if you say so. Call if you have nothing to do.

B: It's horizontal.

A: You can beat and scold.

B: Boy, then you are not ready to be beaten at any time!

A: You just don't commit a crime. As long as you commit a crime, your father will interrogate you again. There must be a game tonight. (Laughter)

B: Then why don't you tell everyone?

You must see me make a fool of myself today.

No, not. It's time for you to give a report to everyone. Prevention and handling of domestic violence reports. (very seriously)

A: Very interesting. This is not the day after school. I just entered the house and was about to walk in when my father stopped me. "son! Come here, let me ask you something! " (loudly)

Your father speaks too loudly.

Who says it's not? Find out what you did wrong again. Isn't this over? (in a hurry)

B: It's called having a guilty conscience! (to the audience)

I don't care anymore. I am not outstanding in study and literature. Protrusion of waist and shoulder disc. Don't speak in class, and don't speak at the meeting. Flat conductors are hard. (plus action)

That's really a memory!

A: From this tone, you must have found out what I did wrong. My dad's policy! Be lenient in confession and strict in resistance.

B: Do you admit it or not? How embarrassing!

A: Move! Stop talking if you commit suicide!

B: It's a man!

A: Tell me as long as you can't die!

Hey! That's all I can do.

A: Where to start!

What are you talking about?

A: I have done a lot. Eating, drinking, whoring, gambling, smoking, cheating and stealing. What if I didn't recruit him and found that I was punished for both crimes? You can slap me twice then, right? (Give B two slaps)

Who did I hire? Me?

However, other than that, what I did was not a bad thing at all.

What did you do?

A: Just skipping classes and surfing the Internet.

Skipping classes and surfing the internet are nothing!

A: Compared with people who kill and set fires, they rob houses and houses. That's where we're going!

Hey!

A: Besides, playing games can also develop intelligence.

B: Skipping classes and playing games can also develop intelligence. I don't understand what you call a plaything. You also skip class and play games. What took you so long?

What took you so long? Can you not take the time to upgrade? Online games are like sailing against the current. If you don't advance, you will retreat. Others will rise step by step. If you go to class, you will be looked down upon in a few days. I will stay up all night, which will affect my study. (Make B stupefied)

He still has a reason.

A: It's time for us to lay a good foundation. As the saying goes, there is a road in Shushan. There is no limit to learning the sea. Friend, put down your schoolbag. Try to upgrade! (patting b on the shoulder)

Hmm! What the hell! (Push away B) Don't forget that you are a student. Focus on your study.

A: Just because we are students. We need to develop in many ways. Legend does not believe in bubble gum. Adventure island of a Chinese odyssey!

What are these things?

A: These are all online games I have played!

B: I said you can just play one or two!

A: One or two? Can I take one or two courses in the college entrance examination? (talking loudly)

No way. (shaking his head)

A: Still so. Online games, such as learning, must not be biased. There are six or seven entrance exams in the college entrance examination, and none of them is difficult to get into colleges and universities. You got it?

I see. Are these all acceptable? Like you, you should be found by your family.

I want to know. How did he find me?

Nine times out of ten, I saw you playing in the Internet cafe.

A: Impossible! I entered the black internet bar.

What is a black Internet cafe?

A: Here we are. In the dark, there are three big letters on the door, "Black Internet Cafe" (pointing to the sign).

Hey! It is really dark!

A: There is also a small line below, "It's your fault not to come once, and it's my fault not to come next time."

You can surf the Internet here.

A: Great! Parents can't find it, the police can't catch it, and students don't go to school, so they all run there.

B: This is such a dark Internet cafe that I don't know how many students have been hurt. Hey? Did your father find out?

Who knows! He didn't speak, only shook his head. (shaking his head)

That's not true. Keep talking!

Very good! I'm desperate. I said, dad! I went out with my female classmates again!

B: fall in love at a young age. We are students and can't fall in love!

A: Students. Kindergarten does not fall in love, that is, the flowers of the motherland have not deteriorated, and primary school students do not fall in love. This is not a new era. Not falling in love with junior high school students shows that this person is incompetent and does not fall in love with senior high school students. Nine times out of ten, they are abnormal.

B: That's nonsense. I am not in love.

A: You! Let me see, (gesturing to B's face) this is God's creation, and this is an oversight. Turn him into a beast.

B: (pushes away the armor) You are a beast! Then what you said is very reasonable. Why doesn't your father let you fall in love?

A: Exactly! Now the parent is worried. I said I was in love, and he said I was in puppy love, which is not good. I said I would stop falling in love and become a single aristocrat. They said I was unfilial.

They are all for your own good. Doesn't puppy love affect your study?

You saw it, didn't you? You saw us elope and stop studying, didn't you? As the saying goes, men and women are not tired of working together. Don't you think so?

You are unrepentant. Hey? Is that what your father said?

I shook my head before I spoke. (A shakes his head)

No, we have to confess!

Very good! I confessed everything. After what I told you. My father just spoke. "I see you did well today, so I won't punish you. Don't do it again in the future! " (talking like dad)

I told you! Parents in the world are all the same. Punishment is not an end, but education.

My dad just finished. My mother came out. Dad, I told you to ask your son if his pocket money is enough. Did you ask?

Hey! Your father found nothing! Is to give you money to spend!

A: No loss? Fooled by the Japanese!

This kid!

I didn't expect my father to hear this. Put your hands up and hit me!

I see. Tonight's game is men's singles!

Fuck you!

(exit)

driving safety

Today we are going to tell you a cross talk.

Hey, say a cross talk. (No spirit)

This cross talk is about traffic safety.

A: OK, traffic safety. (No spirit)

B: I said why you are so listless today.

A: Forget it, it's bad luck!

Tell me about it.

Why do you think it is so difficult to walk now?

What do you mean?

I came to school the other day. . I came to school on foot, you know?

That sounds very new. What are you going to do if you don't do it yourself?

I mean I go to school on foot.

Oh, you said it was impossible to walk.

A: I got on the main road as soon as I got out of the community. .

Wait, why don't you take the sidewalk?

I have to cross the road.

B: Oh, is that the crosswalk in front of your community?

A: No.

It's a path without a crosswalk.

A: Not really. A two-way six-lane road.

Then you are jaywalking! You must take the crosswalk.

Can't we make a detour at the crosswalk? It's too expensive.

Look at his laziness.

A: As soon as I got on the road, it was lively.

Hmm.

A: There is a lot of traffic on the road. I can't get through.

B: Morning rush hour.

A: Hey! Come on, just take out your rice spoon and dig a tunnel!

B: I'm scared, and I'm still a hothead!

A: Not bad. A little guy came not far away. I saw my chance.

Little guy?

A: Not much. It is only a dozen meters long and weighs dozens of tons. It looks lovely. Its scientific name is bus.

B: Still young?

A: Very slow! It shakes, shakes, shakes (the tortoise crawls)

B: Is there a bus like that?

A: I'm not idle either. Let's leave now. I hold my breath, my breath sinks into my abdomen, my clear air rises, my turbid air falls, my breath is colorful, I pour my feet, and I rush out step by step.

Look at the waste of energy.

A: There is one more step. . .

It's over,

Sit on the floor.

Why are you sitting on the floor?

A: The bus suddenly braked and stopped half a meter in front of me, which made my legs weak and I sat on the ground.

B: How dangerous!

Is it dangerous? That's a bus. Luckily, it missed me.

What if we hit it?

If he dares to hit me, I dare to scold him!

B: That's it.

The driver is also very hateful. He came down and asked, "Are you all right, little friend? How can you jaywalk! How dangerous! "

B: Yes!

A: I feel so angry. I thought, can you scare me if you don't brake?

B: If people don't brake, they will run over you.

Run over me? Not afraid! You can destroy my body, but not my soul.

You are an asshole.

A: A taxi is coming. I'll take you as soon as the driver opens the door, son.

B: I met an enthusiastic person.

A: I am still very angry. I grinned at the man. I know, but I won't tell you. Guess what?

B: Is it worth guessing?

He humbly asked me where I was going. I have to deal with it!

B: What a mess.

Hey, somebody help me, let me stand up first.

B: Still sitting.

I finally crossed the road. Is it safe now? I took out my book.

B: I'm very studious.

What a good book! Four characters on the cover. .

B: A selection of Tang poems.

A: Naruto

Oh, comic books.

I walked and watched.

B: That's dangerous, too

A: Nothing. It's more dangerous to watch it at home after mom finds out.

I'm peeking.

A: This chapter is particularly wonderful. Sasuke and Naruto fought. It's getting dark, and the sun and the moon have changed colors. Sasuke is about to use Rachel. Bang, Rachel hit me on the head!

B: Missed it?

I hit a telephone pole.

B: Yes.

A: At that moment, I deeply realized that food is the most important thing for the people.

What do you mean?

I ate half a baked wheat cake for breakfast, which made me very hungry.

Are you hungry there? It was a collision.

A: It hurts me. (Singing) (Flower Band Butterfly Flying) Tears fly ~ ~ ~ ~

That was a real disaster. I say you should really pay attention to traffic safety next time, otherwise it will be too late if something serious happens.

Who says it's not? When I came home that night, there was a car accident reported on TV. A middle school student jaywalked and was hit by a car.

Really?

That terrible book and shoes at the scene. There is another person lying like this (turning his back in an S shape).

B: no. It's bad enough.

It makes me gnash my teeth and stomp my feet.

Be prepared to obey the traffic rules.

I changed the channel.

Fuck you!