Yesterday, we went to a relative’s house for a visit. She told us that this year, the harvest in her field was not good, and her son sighed all day long and was terribly worried! I know that her son is because he can no longer rely on his parents to pay off the mortgage this year and can no longer buy what he wants.
?
? After listening to her words, my heart hurt so much! What makes me feel sad is, how could such a kind person lead such a miserable life? How could she coddle her child like this? In order to meet the needs of her children, she spent 40,000 to 50,000 yuan when her children got married, and all of this money was borrowed by her relatives or on her behalf because of her character! Now, the child has been married for three or four years! Every year, as long as the harvest in her fields is good, his son will either buy a car or a house and ask her for money with a commanding tone. She can only give most of her annual income to his son in order to make him happy. He plugged up the holes as soon as possible. She always told us that things would be better next year. However, after her son got married, she still had to take out a loan for her son even though the income from the fields was not good. , to pay for the daily expenses of his son’s family! No money, so she took out a loan to pay for it! And she herself was reluctant to buy even a decent piece of clothing. She had gotten this son at all costs back then. Now, her hard-won son made her suffer a lot, but she was still happy all day long. In the future, when he squeezes all the flesh and blood out of her body, her hard-won son, how will he treat her? I can't imagine it.
Once, I reminded her to buy a social security for herself, and she told me confidently: "I have more than 300 acres of land. When I get old, if I can't farm anymore, I will If you rent it out, you don’t have to worry about my pension money at all.” At that time, I told her: “Every year, when your land has income, your son will buy one and ask you for money. Give it?" She told me yesterday that I was very far-sighted. I said this to her son when he was a teenager, and now my words have been validated. She was anxious and wanted to buy social security, but the country had canceled this policy.
After chatting with her for a long time, my heart was filled with panic. This is the consequence of doting on her children. Unfortunately, she has not realized the seriousness of the problem. She is going to do it for more than ten years. , help her son fight the famine, and then buy a house by herself! Can she pay off her son's famine? Because her child is constantly buying things, buying endlessly! She is still young, she still has a long way to go, and she still has more than ten years of energy left in her. I can imagine what will happen to her life when she loses the ability to work one day? When one day, she cannot satisfy her son when he needs money, what will be her treatment? In her opinion, the term "raising a child to protect her from old age" should be changed to "raising a child to eat her old age", until she is exhausted and has no energy to live anymore, until her skin is gone and her flesh is dry, maybe his Only then can her son let go, and maybe at this time, she can completely get rid of her son's search and restraint on her.
? This is the result of doting. It was her doting that made her son lose his conscience, his duty as a son, and his humanity. I once remembered that when she paid for her son to rent a bookstore, in order for her son to gain something as soon as possible, she stayed to help her son take care of the bookstore, and she paid for the daily expenses of the store. She will give every cent of her income to her son. The reason is that her son has told her more than once that she is not allowed to touch a penny in the store. We were very angry after hearing this, and we all gave her advice and found ways to let her take some of her daily income from the store and save it for herself. At the very least, she no longer needs to take out a loan to cover their family's expenses. But she said firmly: "I will never touch a penny of his money."
We were helpless and stopped giving her advice and solutions.
Just listen to her suffering silently, pray for her silently behind her back, hoping that she can get God's love, and that she can also love herself and live for herself!
If the parents' love overflows, it will "drown" the child, which is a kind of irrational love. In the immersion of this kind of love, the child will become extremely selfish, and his life Extremely lazy, his desires will never be satisfied. In the end, he will lose his humanity, lose his conscience, and become a sinner in the family and even in society!
Kind-hearted parents, how many bloody lessons can’t wake you up? It's time to let go! Don't let your love become a breeding ground for your child's corruption!