Two people who love each other should be happy, and the most important thing in the process of getting along is heart-to-heart. Some people can move from love to marriage smoothly, while others' love course is not so smooth. Even many young couples lost to money and bride price instead of time!
When a man wants to get married with a loan, his mother strongly opposes the marriage. Who is to blame for the sky-high bride price?
Zhang Qiang, a migrant worker, is nearly 30 this year. He watched his friends get married and have children one by one, but nothing happened. Not only did Zhang Qiang's family break his heart for Zhang Qiang's marriage, but even Zhang Qiang himself felt unprecedented pressure.
By chance, Zhang Qiang realized that he was missing his hometown in a different place. Because both of them are working in different places, and because they are fellow villagers, many topics have arisen after meeting. After getting along for a period of time, the two confirmed their love relationship. After talking for a period of time, they felt very good.
Then Zhang Qiang said to Sitian: Look, we are both almost 30, and we are not young. Should we consider getting married? Si Tian felt the same way after hearing it, so at the end of the year, Zhang Qiang followed Si Tian home to see his future mother-in-law. At the dinner table, the family talked about getting married.
Sita's mother said that if you want to get married, it is impossible to get a bride price of 500 thousand. This sentence can scare Zhang Qiang, who can save more than 60 thousand yuan a year without eating or drinking. The sky-high bride price of 500,000 yuan is undoubtedly a huge bulge for Zhang Qiang, who is not rich already. Then Zhang Qiang told his mother the whole story and said that he liked Sitian very much and wanted to get a loan to marry Sitian.
When Zhang Qiang's mother learned about this, she suddenly collapsed. You know, 500 thousand is just a bride price, and it will cost money to buy a car and a house in the future This is a bottomless pit!
In the end, Zhang Qiang really couldn't get the money, and because his mother couldn't get the loan, the relationship between Zhang Qiang and Sitian ended here. Love lost to money like Zhang Qiang is not uncommon in real life, and it can even be said to be very common, so it will inevitably lead to deep thinking.
Why are all the good traditions left by our ancestors stale now? Whose fault is the sky-high bride price?
1. Is it the fault of the bride price?
In the eyes of most people, it is said that whoever marries a prostitute will ask the man for a sky-high bride price. The first keyword that comes to mind is "prostitution"! So in the eyes of most people, they will think that wool is on sheep. Since the bride price is for the woman, the appearance of the sky-high bride price must be the woman's fault.
In fact, everyone's analysis is reasonable, but we should also learn to put ourselves in others' shoes. You know, the appearance of adding a bride price does not actually mean selling your daughter. As parents, who doesn't want their daughter to marry a good family, and she won't worry about money in her later life. Even I hope my daughter can marry a good family.
Therefore, the woman's family demands a sky-high bride price, which is also to some extent planning for her daughter's future life. As the saying goes, "but not as people who have been poor together know", which parents in the world are not thinking about their children's future?
2. Is the sky-high bride price the fault of the man?
Although some people agree with this, it is also very few. Actually, it doesn't look like the man's fault. After all, the bride price money is for the woman, and the amount of the bride price money is always proposed by the woman. If so, how can it be the man's fault?
Speaking of which, some people will say that they can't marry a daughter-in-law, but they blame the bride price. For those who have this idea, what I want to say is that in China's traditional wedding customs, the focus of bride price is "gift" rather than "thing", and the appearance of bride price in traditional wedding customs is the expression of family friendship between the two sides.
The level of bride price should also be decided according to its own strength. To put it simply, the other party only has 100 yuan, and he is willing to give you 90 yuan, which shows that he values this relationship very much. If you know that the other person only has 100 yuan, but you want 1000 yuan, it may be your fault.
3. Is the appearance of sky-high bride price the result of "son preference"?
At present, this is quite true. Most of the older generation prefer boys to girls, so in the old society, every family took the birth of a son as an important task. Under the influence of this trend, there are more men than women. In this way, girls become a rarity, and it seems logical for the woman to have more bride price at home.
People say that "things are rare", this sentence can still be established in the contemporary ratio of men and women. According to relevant surveys, if the number of men and women is evenly distributed now, then we can draw a conclusion that every ten boys can only be assigned to one girl, which means that nine out of every ten boys will be single. So everyone should understand why boys in rural areas generally get married earlier now.
Emotional information
To sum up, who is to blame for the sky-high bride price, we can't get a definite answer. Back to our theme, the focus of the bride price should be "gift" rather than "thing". The appearance of the bride price is only a symbol of the friendship between the two families. Give more if you have money at home, and give less if you have no money at home. It is important not to let the good traditions left by our ancestors become the target of attack now. Is it better than anything to have more love and less financial entanglements in marriage?