First act
Location: Zhu Yingtai's home. Three chairs and a table.
Characters: Yingtai mother, Yingtai father, Ma Gongzi,
Yingtai's parents are sitting together and Yingtai's father is reading a book.
Maid (first, show the gift list): Madam, sir. Ma Gongzi asks for the door!
Mu Ying (stands up and shouts): Husband, husband! Ma Gongzi came to propose today!
Fu Ying (looking up in disbelief): Who's Mr. Ma?
Mu Ying: That's the east of the village, as rich as Ma Gongzi in Li Ka-shing!
English: Ma Wencai with a big head and a thick neck?
Mu Ying: Yes! Right, right, right. But Ma Gongzi is serious and legally married!
English father (pedant): Madam! According to the tenth paragraph of Article 12 1 of the National Marriage Law, children's marriages cannot be arranged by their parents. ...
Mu Ying: But according to Article 38 of Zhu Fu Family Rules, my daughter is mine, and I have the final say!
English father: madam! Think more about your daughter's happiness! !
Mu Ying: So you don't agree to this marriage/
Fu Ying: Let's think about it!
Mu Ying, who is the master of this family? According to article 38 (m) of Zhu Fu House Rules, what if you don't listen to me! ?
British father:: Kneel on the washboard!
Mu Ying: Glad to know that! But I'll give you some face later! We will be like this for a while! (Two people in secret)
The servant girl said, Master Ma is here. Both of them will return to their original state immediately >
English: What do you know as a woman? Look at Ma Gongzi's virtue, why is it like a toilet ... (Ma Gongzi has appeared, standing behind EF)
Ma Gongzi (pulls out his handkerchief to wipe his sweat): Thank you for not saying that I look like Feng Gong.
Ying-fu (turning around): Who are you?
Ma Gongzi (slamming open the folding fan): Ma Wencai, a villain, lives on the edge of Suzhou City and has a house and a field at home. He has a lot of money. His father came to be an official and never stopped. He has eaten bear's paw, antler, shark's fin seafood for more than a hundred times. Who knows there is still a regret in my heart. On the 23rd of this year, he never held hands with a beautiful woman again!
Mu Ying (rushing at him): Ouch ~ Look, Mr. Ma is not only handsome, but also can sing! (Outside) Cui Hua, tea, tea.
Maid: Yes!
Ma Gongzi (sitting down slowly): Uncle and aunt, I don't know about my marriage with Yingtai. ...
E-mother: Of course, it is. ...
English father: No way! (stands up angrily and points to Ma Gongzi)
Ma Gongzi: Uncle, I---
Fu Ying: You what you! Do you know what a league is?
Ma Gongzi: I don't know. ...
English father: Do you know "Who are you"?
Ma Gongzi: I don't know.
British father: Do you know what a super girl is?
Ma Gongzi: I don't know.
Fu Ying: Do you know you are an idiot?
Ma Gongzi: I don't know.
Fu Ying: Look at you, look at you. How can I rest assured that such an idiot who knows nothing told me to marry Yingtai?
Ma Gongzi (stepping aside): Am I really an idiot? Can't I marry my Yingtai?
Mu Ying (leans in >: Good husband! Don't worry! You still have hope if you want us Yingtai!
(Singing "Hope")
Ma: Aunt! You're a good singer! I also have hope, but what should I do?
Mu Ying: Alas! That's right! I've seen what people have recently, and that mobile phone is teasing me!
Ma (takes out his mobile phone): Aunt, look at me! MP4 with elephant head!
Mu Ying: [Pretending to refuse, then quickly jumping into her pocket] How embarrassing!
Man: Nothing! I have dozens more!
English mother: I have one more thing! Your uncle has been clamoring to buy the card and list worn by others recently! alas
Ma (undressing quickly): Aunt, take it!
Yingmu (grabbing clothes at the same time): Is this not good?
M: There are several sets at home!
Mu Ying: Tell your aunt, do you like our Yingtai?
M: That's not just a favorite! That's quite similar! I like day and night. ...
English mother: OK, OK! I tell you, your uncle is not interested in anything, but he is interested in that! (making money)
Oh, I see! (To Zhu Fu), Uncle! This time I got a bride price of 3 million!
English father: What happened to 3 million? What happened to 3 million! What's wrong with people now? They are always in front of money! (But immediately around the horse) That 300 is true or not! ? !
Ma Gongzi: Of course it's true. Listen, I have all the checks for 3 million!
& lt English Dad is in a hurry to grab the check > The horse stops him.
Ma Gongzi: Grandpa! ! (Take out a contract) Please sign it. Even if you agree to my marriage with Yingtai, this check is yours ...
English Dad: Why didn't you say so earlier (ask your English mother first, then write, at this time)
Maid: Madam is not feeling well! Miss is missing!
English Dad: Yingtai! I snatched the check from Ma Gongzi when I ran off the stage.
Mu Ying: My Yingtai! (Running off the stage)
Ma Gongzi (paused and looked at the contract): What! I don't agree! My 3 million! (Chasing off the stage)
(The lights are dim and the first act is over)
2 nd acting school
Narrator: Zhu Yingtai has been wandering around since she fled her marriage. On this day, she came to Harvard, which means Harbin Buddhist Men's College. The school environment is elegant and the books are loud, so she signed up and went to college! This is her first day of class.
(Zhu Yingtai appears, dressed in hip-hop costume. )
Zhu Yingtai (singing): I am a girl, a beautiful girl ... Little girl, I am this year 18. Handsome boy, I'm not married this year 18. I came to Harvard to gild gold, the main purpose is to escape marriage!
Liang (coming on stage with a book): Wind and rain send spring home, and snow welcomes spring. Learn to watch my water margin or out of tune!
Wow ~ ~ (Liang is startled)
(Freeze) Narrator: It was this short scream of 0.0 1 second that started a fate.
Zhu Yingtai's inner monologue: Wow, it's delicious. His every move is so attractive. It's him. Everyone is looking for him, but the man is in the dim light.
Liang's inner monologue: Why are you staring at me and trying to rob me? I have no money. Haven't you met a handsome guy? We are all men. Why? No way, he wants to rob the sex? Is he a frequent flower thief recently? Alas, I dare not think about it any more. Nothing can go out of our school, just this prisoner! (Speaking of wanting to turn around and leave)
Zhu Yingtai: Hey! This brother!
Liang: Ah!
Zhu: I'm new here. Please take care of me! Japanese etiquette.
Liang: I am new here, too. Please take care of me.
Zhu: My name is. Please take care of me!
Liang: My name is Liang. Please take care of me!
Zhu: I am a man, please take care of me!
Liang: I am a man, too. Please take care!
Zhu: I am in Class A, please take care of me!
Liang: I'm in Class A, too. Please take care!
Liang: We are classmates, hehe ~
Zhu Yingtai: Excuse me, do you know where our Class A is?
Liang: I am looking for it, too.
Zhu Yingtai: Let's go.
Liang: OK, let's go. (Two people get off the bus and find the classroom to sit down)
(Ma Wencai, dressed like a student with a cigarette in his mouth)
Ma (answering the phone): What? Zhu Yingtai is at Harvard University! All right! Listen to my command!
Ma Wencai (Allegro): A girl from the Zhujiajian family just grew up, so she came to see her face. Who knows Zhu Yingtai bold narrow-minded, incognito reading. In order to catch up with the former, she has to be bold and fearless, while reading books and chasing girls, holding her hand regardless of wind and rain.
(Dean, the two meet)
Dean: This classmate.
Ma Wencai: Why?
Dean: Do you still look like a student in this dress? I'm still smoking in the teaching area and I'm choking.
Ma Wencai: It's none of your business. You are not the dean.
Dean: Demo, you are new here! You don't know me at all! I'm the dean!
Ma Wencai: Huh? Hospital ... Dean, you smoke. No ... you have tea.
Dean: Where did you buy the tea?
Ma Wencai: Then you eat sugar.
Dean: What a mess!
Ma Wencai: Sorry, sorry. I'm really new here. I didn't expect to meet the dean. I have great respect for the dean! Please forgive me, a small leaf is blind, and people look down on dogs.
Dean: What!
Ma Wencai: Dogs look down on people.
Dean: Go, go! Go to the classroom!
Ma Wencai: Yes ... Yes.
(Ma Wencai finds the classroom and goes in)
Ma Wencai: Ah, Yingtai! I can find you, you are so beautiful! ! You don't know that since I didn't see you at your house last time, I have been thinking about you all the time. Oh, Yingtai, give me a chance.
Zhu Yingtai: Pervert!
Liang: How can there be such a person in our school?
Zhu Yingtai: Brother Liang, change seats.
Liang: I ... I'm afraid of homosexuality, too.
Zhu Yingtai: If I ask you to change, you can change. (Two people change seats)
Ma Wencai: Yingtai, give me one reason not to sit with you.
Zhu Yingtai: Do you need it?
Ma Wencai: I really need it!
Zhu Yingtai: You forced me.
I'm not gay, but I don't exclude homosexuality. As a heterosexual who is not gay, I feel it necessary for you to know that I just want to sit by the window. This position is in good weather, good place and good people, and you can see the scenery outside, so let's blow a breeze. ...
He Liang: Ah.
Dean (me): Well, ah, I said, ah, hello, classmates! Today, I will give you this first lesson! This! Let me tell you first! This! If you don't study hard, it's better to sell sweet potatoes and grow up to be a college student, up to 250! !
(Three people nod)
Dean: OK, you should introduce yourselves first! Let everyone know!
Liang: I'll go first. My name is Liang! (posture)
Zhu: My name is. (Looking at Liang affectionately)
(Horse pulls Liang over): My name is Ma Wencai.
Dean: Not bad! Let's continue to explain poetry. China's ancient poetry has always paid attention to cherishing words like gold. I will improvise a poem first, and each of you will improvise a poem after my example. Listen ... (half a day) The mountain is so high!
Everyone: (Half a day) Is it over?
Dean: It's over.
Zhu Yingtai: Is this also called poetry?
Dean: Why not?
Ma Wencai: Hey, Dean, you are so enigmatic. This poem cherishes words like gold, and depicts the greatest feature of the mountain in the shortest words, high! It's really high.
Dean: Yes! Sit down first!
Dean: Let's take this as an example and start writing poems. Liang, you go first.
Liang (thinking): The Yangtze River is so long!
Dean (nodding): Not bad, not bad, profound observation.
(No, Liang whispered a few words in his ear)
Zhu Yingtai: Oh, Dean. Mine is the sea, so big!
Dean: Not bad, not bad, full of energy! Charming enough! Ma Wencai, your turn.
Ma Wencai: I … I …
Dean: I what me, hurry up.
Ma Wencai: Guys. ...
Dean: What happened to us?
Ma Wencai: Good pig!
Dean: Asshole! All these can be done. It seems that I can't take this course. Next, there is still a period of time. Tell me about your wish! come
You can't do it without a wish in college! Ma Wencai, you go first this time.
Ma Wencai: I have three wishes: let mice take abortifacient, put roller skates on snails, and put a mountain protective cover on mosquitoes.
Dean: Yes! Not bad, not bad. Liangshan hero Bai, what about you?
Liang: I also have three big wishes in my life: tiling the Great Wall, reversing the plane and taking the elevator to the Himalayas!
Dean: Yes! I have never heard of such great ambition in my life! China has hope because of you! Not bad!
Dean (looking at Zhu's silence and asking): What about you?
I wish (affectionately): My greatest wish is to be with the person I love and never part! I hope he can get up early like a chicken, be diligent like a cow, be gentle like a sheep, be loyal like a dog, eat everything like a pig and not be picky about food! ! !
(I wish the horse a few tricks while talking: take out the watch and make a strong move. Get down on one knee and take out the bowl. )
Dean: Well, you sound more like me! Ok, our class is very successful, very successful! All right! Class is over! (Under the Dean)
Zhu: Brother Liang! I found a particularly interesting place. Let's go! Pull down the beam and the horse will catch up.
Act iii
(Voice-over: Zhu Yingtai and Liang Shanbo study together in this university. They talked about what was going on in the world together and sang loudly. However, Ma Wencai wantonly destroyed, and the music of "Wave after Wave" sounded)
At the same time, the narrator directed two hooligans to teach Liang a lesson, and Liang ran away. Zhu Yingtai saw the two men and stopped them. He took out a dime and waved. Two people hit Ma Wencai in turn, and Ma Wencai ran.
Another scene: Liangshan Bai is sweeping the floor. Zhu Yingtai robbed the Liangshan white broom, robbed the broom. Zhu Yingtai waved goodbye to Ma Wencai and went to play together.
The music playing behind the scenes emphasizes that time flies, and the sun and the moon fly like a shuttle, but it has never been loved by Zhu, so he revealed his whereabouts to his parents. In this extraordinary period, Zhu Yingtai decided not to hide her true identity, and she wanted to confess to Liang Shanbo.
Zhu (looking at Liang affectionately): Brother Liang, look! There seems to be two birds talking on the grass under that old locust tree over there. What a happy couple they are!
Liang (looking at the distance, nodding and sighing): Alas, if I had known I had my slingshot with me, I would have had a delicious meal. Unfortunately, unfortunately. ...
Zhu (secretly stamped): It is really "protein" (idiot, idiot, mental derangement).
Liang (with a startled face): Huh? Who are you talking about?
Zhu (laughs): Eh, I'm talking about that stupid bird. He lived with another for three years, and didn't even know that the other was of the opposite sex.
Liang (shaking his head thoughtfully): Brother Zhu, how do you say this? Liang is incompetent and puzzling. Please advise.
Thought: Oh, nothing, just kidding ... Brother Liang, you'd better not send it. Send you a thousand miles, you have to say goodbye.
Liang: But I only sent you 980 Li. Besides, I wish you weakness. How can you rest assured? After all, I have learned a little karate. Let Viagra give you another ride.
Wish: well, little ... I must respect rather than obey.
They walked around the stage, went to another corner of the stage and stopped again. )
Zhu: Brother Liang, look! It seems that there are two cute little animals swimming in that river. What are they? Do you know that?/You know what?
Liang (puts his left hand on his forehead and looks out): Oh! There are only two ducklings. ...
Wish |: I'm impressed with you! You are so knowledgeable that you don't even know their names.
Liang (stunned, puzzled and somewhat wronged): Please forgive Liang's ignorance and dare to ask Brother Zhu, who are they?
Zhu: They are just mandarin ducks! Do you know why they are called Yuanyang?
Liang: Sorry!
Thought: alas, because they are a man and a woman ... do you understand?
Liang: Oh … I don't understand!
Zhu (grumpily): Alas, Brother Liang, you'd better go home.
Liang: Well, then Liang is not far away. Let's say goodbye here, goodbye. By the way, Yingtai, when you get home, don't indulge yourself too much. You should review C language more. Also, don't forget to email me! !
Desire (choking, singing): sad tears ...
Liang: Hey, Brother Zhu, why are you crying like a big girl?
(Ma Wencai grins)
Liang: Marco! Why are you laughing so hard?
M: I will tell you something. You can stand it!
Liang: What's the big deal? Go ahead.
Ma Wencai: Have you noticed that Zhu Yingtai is a little abnormal? (raising the tone)
Liang: (imitating the tone of a horse) Not normal? I think you are a little sissy, too.
Ma Wencai: I'm serious, Brother Liang. Yingtai is a woman.
Liang: (pause for a moment) Huh? ! What? Woman! ! !
M: I have good news for you. I'm going to marry my Snow White soon. Alas! Get to know each other and invite you to my wedding reception, haha. ...
(Liang sings "Come Back My Love" sadly)
Liang: Yingtai! (Chasing Zhu Xia)
Act IV: I wish the government to rob relatives.
(English father and English mother appear together from the other side of the stage. )
Mu Ying: Honey, I heard that Minsheng Bank has gone up again!
English Dad: Hey, I bought Huaxia Bank!
(Ma Wencai takes the housekeeper, Ding Jia and Yi Ding take the Minsheng Platinum Diamond Card model. The background music is "The Devils Enter the Village". )
Ma Wencai: Guys, have you packed everything?
Everybody: put it away, young master!
English father: Who should I be? It's Ma Gongzi. I wonder what Ma Gongzi can do for you?
Ma Wencai: Well, I want you to be my father-in-law. Sure, you can be my mother-in-law, hehe.
Yingfu: Bold and rude. I only have that precious daughter.
Mu Ying: Yes, our daughter is very expensive! Of course, as the saying goes, (subtitle)
"A thousand miles of marriage is a thread,
Show him the conditions! (Pointing to Ma Wencai and off-court direction, implying Liang Shanbo)
As long as the family is really rich,
Who cares if he looks at it? "
Look at what you said, everything is easy to discuss!
Ma Wencai: Well, as long as there is an old man, a housekeeper!
Butler: My son sent a villain to give some small gifts to my parents to show his sincerity. (Raise your hand to signal the bunny to come on stage)
Two boxes of Moutai (Bunny Show, background music "Pig Marries Daughter")
Two boxes of Chinese cigarettes (Bunny Show, background music "Pig Eight Rings Marry a Wife")
Chow Tai Fook's two sets of diamond jewelry (Bunny Show, background music "Pig Marries Daughter")
More importantly, a Minsheng Platinum Diamond Card (a huge diamond card model). Of course, the mother-in-law must have a secondary card. The overdraft limit in the card is RMB 3 million, and my young master will pay back the money every month! This is really-"Minsheng Credit Card, get him with one card"! Everyone shouted "Yeah …" and their hands were V-shaped.
Mu Ying: Husband! Look, look, Ma Gongzi sent so many gifts, our Yingtai must be his!
English father: But that boy Liang Shanbo is still in our house. Besides, Yingtai seems to love him more.
(Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai appear and sing "You will marry me today". )
Liang Shanbo: The warm flowers in spring take away the hunger and cold in winter.
The breeze brings unexpected love.
The singing of birds has brought us closer.
I suddenly fell in love with you at this moment.
Liang Zhu: Listen to me.
Walk hand in hand with me.
Create a happy life
You were too late yesterday.
Tomorrow will be a pity.
Will you marry me today?
Zhu Yingtai: Yes. I do.
Butler: You too, young master!
Ma Wencai: (watching Zhu Yingtai sing "Do you know I'm waiting for you?" ? 》)
I like you somehow.
Love you deeply
Like a mouse falling in love with rice.
I like you somehow.
Love you deeply
From the day I met you.
Zhu Yingtai: Who are you? (Shaoxing accent)
Ma Wencai: I'm Ma Wencai, a charming, talented and beloved Yushu native, who was selected as one of the "Top Ten Outstanding Young People in Sijiqing Township" (with photos of online celebrity Xiao Pang), that is, your upcoming, upcoming and future husband.
Zhu Yingtai: Mom, I don't want to marry him. I like brother Liang.
English mother: silly child, affection is one thing, marriage is another thing, different. Ma Gongzi has a grand appearance. Although he is a little rich, he is also a good-looking man. Shili Baxiang is famous and is also a turtle (the image of Ninja Turtle). The key is to have money at home.
Zhu Yingtai: No, I won't marry Brother Liang.
EF: Good boy, son! (Sing "Listen to Mom" (Tuanlang)
Listen to your mother and don't let her get hurt.
I want to grow up quickly and protect her
Mu Ying: Yingtai, this time you should listen to your parents and marry Ma Gongzi!
Yingfu: Go ahead. My daughter belongs to Ma Gongzi. You have nothing to do, so stay where you are! Somebody, coax Liang Shanbo away.
(Zhu Yingtai and Liang Shanbo don't want to let go)
Water Margin: Yingtai. . . Since there is no chance in this life, I hope we can be together in the afterlife!
Zhu Yingtai: (Singing "Thousands of Miles Away")
I will send you thousands of miles away, you are silent and black and white.
The age of silence may not be too far away from love.
Liang Shanbo: Do you think you will still be there after I leave the end of the world?
Where does the piano come from? Life and death are hard to guess. It takes a lifetime to wait.
Act v
Voice-over: Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai have been drowning their sorrows in wine since they broke up, and finally one day …
Liang: Yingtai, you just got married with. I might as well hit a piece of tofu and die! (stumbling)
A: I started this road. I planted this tree. If you want to cross this road, stay and buy money. (Two people jump out)
Liang: Who are you two? !
You don't know about us either?
A: Prevent the destruction of the world.
To protect world peace.
A and B: We are the left green dragon and the right white tiger, with the old cow at the waist and the dragon at the chest. People don't kill Buddha, don't kill Buddha! There were voices calling our names in the Jianghu, and they were too scared to say anything.
Liang: Are you those two evil spirits?
A: It's Shuangxia.
Why, my dear friend, I heard that you want to commit suicide?
Liang: Ah ah, no, I just want to find a piece of tofu to play with, nothing special.
B: Do you want to die? Tofu is not good. Come on, I'll recommend something good for you.
A: This is the first strange poison called "Laughter for a Day".
Liang: Is it the legendary "death in a day" and "half-step epilepsy with laughter"?
A: Boy, you have a good eye, yes, but this is a super enhanced version.
B: "One-day dead powder" is made of seven different poisonous insects and Hedysarum. Colorless and tasteless, killing people without leaving a trace.
Answer: Smiling Half Step is made of honey, Fritillaria cirrhosa, Platycodon grandiflorum and Saussurea involucrata. There is no need for refrigeration and no preservatives. Apart from its toxicity, it tastes delicious.
B: Those who eat our "one-day death" will lose their martial arts in one day, and their tendons and veins will go against the current, and they will be possessed, and eventually their blood vessels will burst and die.
A: That's right! And friends who eat "half a step with a smile", as the name implies, must never walk half a step or laugh, otherwise they will explode and die. This is really a family trip. ...
B: kill to cover it up ...
A: (Chorus) Essential drugs!
A: And our enhanced version has a double effect, especially suitable for people who are eager to commit suicide like you.
Liang: Actually, I don't want to. .....
B: You eat (force it on Liang) ... Why do you talk so much nonsense when you want to die?
Narrator: So Liang Shanbo died.
Zhu Yingtai: Brother Liang! You died a terrible death ~ (crying at the grave)
Schreiber: Hey, wrong, wrong, that's President Bush's grave! Your brother Liang's grave is over there. ...
Zhu Yingtai: Tell me earlier, it's a waste of my feelings! (sobbing and singing "Chinese Cabbage") Liang Shanbo, life is so bitter, how can you have the heart to leave me ~ Brother Liang ~
Voice-over: At this moment, thunder suddenly sounded in the sky, and a flash of lightning pierced Liang Shanbo's grave.
(Liang Shanbo stands up)
Zhu Yingtai: Ah ~ Brother Liang ~
Liang Shanbo: Yingtai ~ (They hug Liang and sing Endless Love. After that, they hope to sing "Full Moon Flower")
(At this moment, the dean and classmates come forward to bless) Everyone: Congratulations, everything will be fine, and all shall be well, jack shall have Jill ~
Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai: Happy together, come on, eat sugar. ...
Zhu Yingtai: Brother Liang, why aren't you dead?
Liang: Huh? I don't know.
M: Since you are not dead, I will help you both.
Liang, Zhu: Thank you (smiling)
Man: But! (Mystery) I have two demands.
Liang and Zhu: Say
Man: First of all, for the honor of the family, I declare that you two died of double suicide.
Liang: That will do.
M: Secondly, you have to give me back my 3 million yuan. This money is very important to me. I think Shi Cun's Dong Shi is more attractive and has more personality. I like it ~
Dong Shi: dead, you are talking about others (tender)
Ma: Xiao Dongdong, you're here ~
Dong Shi, Ma: (Two people play against each other)
Ma: Xiaodong, my 3 million is almost done. I'll marry you when things are settled. ...
Dong Shi: What 3 million? You make it clear to me! (The expression on your face turns ferocious, twisting the horse's ear and stepping down)
Ma: Oh, it hurts ~ Xiaodong, you are so hot (with an adoring face)
Narrator: Heroes and heroines in Maldives.
When do you think the boy will wake up?
B: Now, the medicine has passed.
Do you think people will accuse us of making fake and inferior products?
(everyone: crack down on counterfeiting)
No, we are all white lies. Saving a life is better than creating a seven-level floating map.
A: Isn't it? ...
I didn't expect that boy to be rich. It's okay for people like us to enjoy it once in a while. You see, even people on the rivers and lakes admire us and stay away from us.
(everyone: obviously notorious)
Narrator: So the princess and the prince lived a happy life.
Everyone: cut ~ cliche
Zhu: Stop it. Didn't you say you had a family heirloom? So what?
Liang: There is, but ...
Wish: But what but, if you can't find it, you can't live well.
(End)