Eight years ago, I fell into trouble from a moderately prosperous life due to bankruptcy. With the help of four hard-seat train tickets from my cousin, who was a small foreman, I took my mother and my wife to float the baby from the desolate Kunming to Beijing, where it became a city. Caravan owners for a family of five. Now, I am a freelance teacher. First, I was affiliated with my employer to run a youth news writing club. Later, I opened a study by myself and taught some compositions to live a simple life. Recently, the spirit of Foolish Old Man who moved mountains moved God, "He sent two gods He went down to earth and carried two mountains away."

I have a son and a daughter. My son is in the first grade of high school and my daughter is in the second grade of junior high school. As a father, I have a lot of inexplicable feelings. Now I am making my actions and feelings over the past few years public to the public, as a way to attract others, in order to "dig out" more novel and effective tips from all my friends who are fathers.

I had no clear goals after my bankruptcy, but it was inevitable to leave my embarrassing hometown. First, I was exhausted both physically and mentally and wanted to leave. Go, anticipating a new mood in a new environment; second, I want to come out and try to see if what I have learned in my life is really worth my pride; third, I want to let my children know that they can survive with knowledge. I decided to come to Beijing because there was a student with whom I had a good relationship who was studying at the China Journalism Institute on a paid basis and also did some business as a publishing agency, so I had some support.

After I came to Beijing, my student gave me 1,000 yuan as a "start-up fund." After I settled down with my family, I started looking for a job. Instill a living teaching material that "you can survive with knowledge". When I look for a job, I either take my son to follow me directly, or I report to the whole family in detail for analysis and discussion after I go home.

I can only teach writing, and my age has exceeded the "thirty-five years old" that I don't know who stipulated but almost unanimously said. With a package of award certificates and works weighing three to four kilograms, I Decide to find a school or cultural publishing unit. I looked for several schools. After reading my resume, award certificates and papers, the leaders all expressed their appreciation and were willing to consider accepting me. However, they all declined in different ways when they heard that I had two school-age children who wanted to "side-study" them. .

I will make further adjustments and prepare to lower the requirements. I borrowed some newspapers and magazines from the student. By chance, I saw a monthly magazine published by a well-known national publishing house. There were many typos, punctuation marks and even grammatical errors in it. I bought two more issues. It was new, but there were still many mistakes. I laughed and told my children that I had a job, but they were at a loss. The next day, I called the editor-in-chief of that magazine and briefly described my findings. They were very interested and asked me to go for an interview. I went there with the three magazines that I had painted gorgeously. A publishing house, the result of the negotiation was that I would work as a part-time proofreader for them, with a salary of 800 yuan per issue. A successful start, the children have become fully convinced of the usefulness of knowledge. Next, I used the same method to find a magazine, also part-time, with a monthly salary of 600 yuan. Then I worked as an editor in a cultural company, with a monthly salary of 1,200 yuan.

After working for a while, I felt an indescribable emptiness and panic. I calmed down and thought about it. It turned out that I had "lost my fortune" by running a school. Although I no longer had the financial conditions, I never gave up. However, I thought of holding classes. After knowing this intention, my new acquaintance, Mr. Li Chengye, a senior from the same hometown and former vice president of the China Journalism Institute, solemnly told me: First, find an institution like this to work for a while and accumulate some experience. I followed the old man’s advice and applied for a job at Beijing Jingcheng Culture School, the largest spare-time education school for primary and secondary school students in Beijing. I received enthusiastic help from the leaders and many senior colleagues in the Jingcheng Teaching and Research Center. I got to work with many special teachers and experts who were already famous in Yunnan. Principal Wang personally called me to help my child transfer to Heping Street Central Primary School. , and the sponsorship fee is waived. I worked seriously for two years and studied for two years before I came out to join this club.

During this period, the children went to Jingcheng to have lunch with me every day. In addition to being familiar with Grandpa Zhao Muxi and Grandma Liu Bingxin who were in the same office, I also lost no time in identifying people who came in and out of our office: This is the National Uniform Textbook Middle School Grandpa Meng Guangheng, the editor-in-chief of the history teaching reference book, grandma Zhang Jinxin, a famous English professor at Renmin University, and uncle Huang Weiwen is a master's degree student who returned from studying in the UK. The uncle who is new to our office is a Ph.D. candidate at Beijing Normal University. Uncle Xiao Zhu, who manages the Jingcheng website, is only a third-year college student, but he works here for half a day every day and can earn a salary of 1,500 to 600 yuan a month... I found that children have begun to worship knowledge.

My two children went to boarding schools with relatively good conditions in Yunnan. They just entered Heping Street Central Primary School for a few days. I asked them how they felt, but my daughter didn’t know. My son said that the conditions were not as good as the school they used to have in Kunming. I didn’t say anything. I just took them to visit a few very simple schools for migrant children at the weekend. They said that Heping Street Central Primary School should be considered a very good school. I said no and took them to visit a few more schools with poor conditions. If you go to a particularly good school, tell them: We are ordinary people and we go to an ordinary school. I also took the opportunity to compile the "Me and the Olympics" essay collection for primary and secondary school students in Beijing to let them understand the relationship between learning conditions and learning results.

In order to let the children have a calm mind, I took them to visit many working environments and accommodation environments with different conditions, and took them to walk for more than two hours at night from near the China-Japan Friendship Hospital where we lived at the time to Tiananmen Square We watched the flag-raising in the square, walked for more than two hours from Shijingshan along the Yongding River to visit the Lugou Bridge, and walked for four and a half hours from Lugu to Tiananmen... We observed the crowds in the subway when commuting to get off work, and observed how busy it was before dawn As a hawker pulling food and setting up a stall, I have only one purpose, which is to let the children understand that we are ordinary ordinary people.

It is not easy to let children have the mentality of ordinary people. Children will make comparisons intentionally or unintentionally. In order to prevent our children from feeling too inferior, we only lived in the bungalow for half a year, and then rented a building after letting the children know how to make a stove, boil water, heat and cook. Our family purchased a multimedia computer in 1995. After the bankruptcy, the children Computers are often mentioned, so I quickly bought a second-hand set.

Parents - especially when the father is calm, the child can be calm. I have never asked my children to score or rank in the exam. I just set a general framework: they should understand most of the things taught by the teacher. If they can't get a score of 80, it means they don't understand too much. . So far, my son and daughter have neither won first place nor scored 100 points in the exam, but they all like to observe and think, and have healthy and broad interests. Although my son, who is in the first year of high school, often only gets 80 or 90 points in the so-called main subjects, He even took courses such as history, geography, biotechnology, etc. with great interest, and he was able to pass 80 or 90% on the test. I already felt very at ease.

In terms of how to behave in society, I also drew a framework for them to be ordinary good people: those who sacrifice themselves for others are sages, which is difficult for ordinary people to do, and it is not necessary to do it; those who benefit others and themselves are good people , we must work hard to achieve it; those who benefit themselves at the expense of others are bad people and must not do it. While considering self-interest, you also consider how to benefit the other party or a third party. It is enough for a person to work hard for a lifetime. If you do this, you are a good person.

The themes of being caring and filling the world with love are relatively empty. I often analyze related phenomena for children: I sincerely hope that everyone will live well and be prosperous. If everyone is having a good time, no one will take it out on you; if everyone is rich, it will be easier for you to make money no matter what line of work you do. Love should start to be shown to others. If a person is very indifferent to his own family but very enthusiastic to others, that is hypocrisy; if a person does not care about other people's difficulties and disasters, but adopts disabled cats and dogs to show love. "Love", that is perverted.

There is a direct proportional relationship between freedom and consciousness

It is human nature for children to desire freedom, but there is no absolute unconditional freedom in the world. My dogma is: freedom comes from consciousness, and the degree of consciousness The higher you go, the more freedom you get. Whether it is at home, at school or in the future, the principle is the same: at home, if you tell your parents that you want to go out and play for an hour, if you can come back on time, this kind of request will be easily satisfied next time. On the contrary, you will There is no freedom; in school, some students are always watched closely by the teacher, while others are very free, and the teacher is very tolerant when they occasionally make mistakes. This is largely based on the level of self-consciousness of these students. Of...

In this regard, in addition to often giving examples to the children, I also apply it to them without compromise. One winter vacation, more than a month before the vacation, two children became obsessed with computer animation and used up all their extracurricular time. I reminded them several times to no avail, and they failed in the final exam-both of them failed in English and mathematics. I didn’t blame them for not meeting the loose boundaries I set, but during this holiday, they lost their freedom: they had to follow my schedule and experience my work with me. The clubs I'm in charge of are all extracurricular classes. I'm busy during holidays and weekends. I have to get up at six o'clock every morning, and they have to get up with me. We make breakfast together, and then walk forty minutes to class. They study by themselves while I'm in class. , they rested when I rested; I ate whatever I had for lunch, and we walked home together in the evening. There was no wind or snow, and there was only a three-day Spring Festival break during the entire holiday. After the holiday, they all had a profound understanding: on the one hand, they felt the misery of losing their freedom, and on the other hand, they understood the hard work of their parents, and they also saw those classmates working hard for the future. They sacrifice vacations and money to attend extracurricular classes due to competition. With experience, parents’ reminders to “be conscious” will be much more effective.

I am not a successful person, but I consider myself an ordinary person who can get up after falling. I also hope that my children can have this spirit in the future.