The son of a rich family went to take an exam, and his father gave him a test in advance. He got good grades and thought he would be admitted, but he didn't expect to be included.

There is no son's name in the world. Father hurried to the county magistrate for trial. The magistrate turned the volume to see that there was a faint fog on it, but

I can't see any words.

As soon as dad got home, he scolded, "Why is your paper so ugly?"

My son cried and said, "No one grinds ink for me in the examination room, so I have to dip my pen in water and write on the inkstone."

An old lady who reads Buddha

An old lady, with several beads in her hand, read Amitabha, Amitabha and shouted, "Han, Han,

There are too many ants in the pot. I hate it. Take a fire for me and burn them. Then read: "Amitabha, Amitabha!" "

Buddha. "Then he shouted," Han, Han, help me remove the ash from the bottom of the pot. Don't use a dustpan in your own house.

Yes, because it would burn out, I borrowed a dustpan from my neighbor's house. Remember, remember. Amitabha, Amitabha. "

Never a vegetarian.

Monks visit people. When the master saw that he was a monk, he asked, "Master, do you drink?"

The monk smiled and said, "Drink a little wine, but never be a vegetarian."

Get rid of fools

A man complained to the county magistrate, "I lost a hoe tomorrow, please ask my master to find it."

The county magistrate asked, "you slave! I lost my hoe tomorrow. Why didn't you report it yesterday? "

The beadle beside him couldn't help laughing. The magistrate immediately closed the case and said, "You must have stolen the hoe! What the hell are you stealing?

Why? "

The deacon replied, "I want to get rid of that idiot."

The old man is very sad.

There was an old man with deep pockets and a full house of children and grandchildren. On the centenary birthday, birthday guests crowded the house, but the old man

Very unhappy.

Everyone asked him, "You are so blessed, what are you worried about?"

The old man replied, "I'm not worried about anything, but I'm worried that when I celebrate my 200th birthday, hundreds of people will come to congratulate me.

How can I remember them one by one? "

Strive for bargaining

A man is playing outside the door with his son in his arms. The neighbor jokingly said, "The blood of father and son really comes down in one continuous line. It's up to you. "

My son will know that his face is really the same as mine. "

The person holding the child said, "Yes, you and this child are brothers born to a woman. How can your face be different? "

What about the same? "

Bad heart.

There are two little people who have poisonous sores on their backs and seek medical treatment. The doctor looked at the first one, then at the second one, pretending to be afraid.

He said: "His heart is worse, but it can be cured. Your heart is so bad and rotten, how can I cure it? "

Sparrows treat

One day, the sparrow invited the birds to drink. It said to the kingfisher, "You are wearing such bright clothes, so naturally please sit down."

Go to the table. "

He said to the eagle, "although you are big, you have to be wronged to sit at the next table in black and ugly clothes."

The eagle replied, "You slave, why are you so snobbish?" ! "

The sparrow replied, "No one in the world knows that I am a small-minded sparrow."

Animals bully the poor.

A man asked a beggar, "Why do dogs bite when they see you?"

The beggar replied, "If I have a good coat and hat to wear, the animals will respect me."

Huangdi yizhuang

A beggar came back from Beijing and boasted that he had seen the emperor. Others asked him, "What clothes does the emperor wear?"

Answer: "I wear a hat carved from white jade and a golden robe."

Q: "How can you bow in a golden robe?"

The beggar spat at him and said, "Haha, I really don't understand the world! Now that you are the emperor, who do you bow to? "