I also want to forget him, but I can't do it at all. Over the years, I have never seen anyone else in my life, only him. ...
I thought we had a future.
It took me a long time to come to you, and I was afraid I couldn't go on. His wife has been in poor health, so we have been keeping it from her all these years. She had a serious heart disease, and he took good care of her when she was alive. He always said, look, I'm old like this. What's the point of you still guarding me? You can't really get married without getting married. At that time, he had not found out the disease. It was only last summer that he really discovered the disease. From discovery to departure, it has not even arrived for half a year.
Actually, I've been waiting for him. Personally, I don't think his wife can take care of him. I am still young. If anything happens to his wife in the future, he will at least have me. I always thought his wife would go first, but I didn't expect him. He has always been in good health. It turned out to be the worst disease and it was hopeless. But what's the use of saying this now? Everyone's gone. I can't sleep almost every night since he left. Sometimes, even if I fall asleep, I will dream all night.
Because of him, I moved out a long time ago. The house was rented at first, but later he took a little money and helped me buy the house with a loan. This is the only place where I use his money. Except for the down payment, I always repay the loan myself. His son got married a while ago, and I said I would give him the money, but he didn't want it, and I didn't shirk it. Seriously, I also hope to have a home with his traces. We can buy a house together, just like a real family.
To put it bluntly, we haven't said how we met.
When I was 20 years old, I got pneumonia and had a high fever for several days. My parents were out of town, and when they were found by colleagues and sent to the hospital, everyone was already overwhelmed. At that time, Fei was my attending doctor, and I was under the jurisdiction of his ward. He treats me like an adult who loves children and speaks softly. Every day when he makes rounds, he always forgets to come and talk to me more.
That year, I haven't been in love. Women's private words (//Sifang dialect)
The way he wears a white coat and hangs a stethoscope is really charming. It is said that his lover is also a female patient he took care of before. After leaving the hospital, the woman was obsessed with him and specially asked the matchmaker to tell her daughter. Probably even they think that it is more reliable than anything that their daughter can marry a man like Fei.
It was also an autumn. My whole memory in the hospital runs through Fei's concern and greetings. Later, I asked him if he liked me. Fei said no, he said, he treats all patients the same. I ran away from home when I was a child and came here with my grandmother. I can say that I am very lacking in fatherly love. Especially for the care of such an adult man.
I began to look forward to the rounds every morning, the moment he stepped into the ward, and sometimes I even looked forward to his physical problems so that he could stay in front of my bed for one more minute. I like it when he looks me in the eye and asks me if I feel sick. How do you feel after taking this medicine, and so on. I think I have fallen in love with him.
Later, my parents moved their family from other places.
They began to introduce me to boyfriends, hoping that I would have a good home. But God knows, I have a fly in my heart, how can I accommodate others? At that time, I already knew that he had a wife and children, but that didn't affect my desire to love him.
At that time, this kind of thing was very sensitive. Unlike now, with a third party, it is possible to get rid of everything. I still remember that my mother introduced me to a young man who worked in the post office, and later there was a middle school. I made an excuse and refused. I have been flying in my heart. I've been thinking, what should I do to have a chance to express my love?