When I was in court, it happened that my classmate's second brother was in court where I worked. My classmates went to work in the capital, put down their work and came to see me specially. At that time, I promised to help without much thought, and then I left after entertaining my classmates.

I didn't expect me to make things simple. During the trial, I found that the case was complicated and the human relationship was deep, so I couldn't control the trial of the case at all. But at that time, the promise to my classmates was a bit full, so it was not easy to end. In the end, although I tried my best, the students who tried the case were still not satisfied. I didn't get the understanding of my classmates, so I became a stranger from now on!

The lesson from this incident is that when you promise to help others, you must be careful and don't promise easily. Once you promise something, it often backfires. Although you do your best, you will eventually become the enemy.

If you are in a hurry, don't save the poor. You must be more careful when lending money to others. When you borrow money, you are a grandson, and when you pay back money, you are a grandfather. There are countless examples of people turning against each other in order to borrow money: from father and son, brothers, neighbors, classmates, friends, colleagues and so on.

Thick before thin, it is easy to make enemies. Therefore, the ancients said that helping others must be thin first and then thick, and gradually be kind. In fact, this is also the best annotation of "fighting rice to support benefactors and bearing rice to support enemies". However, if you don't know how to be grateful to a person, no matter how much you helped him before, once you can't satisfy some of his wishes, resentment will arise.

In a word, life experience needs us to accumulate bit by bit. There is no universal truth in life. Let me tell you a little personal experience for your reference.

I became an enemy when I helped my sister buy a house in my town. Acquaintances have been built for ten years and have not been decorated. In the first issue, I gave 20 thousand yuan. My sister only gave me 4000, and I bought it at 16000. I also spent tens of thousands of dollars to decorate with her. In the second phase, I put more than 10 thousand yuan with her. Later, her son opened a shop and asked me for help to borrow money. When I didn't borrow it, my in-laws said that I would pay it back on time, and my mother scolded her for not paying back the remaining 30 thousand. After the bank sued me for 96 thousand, I went to the court to pay back the money myself. Now I'm the enemy. This year, my sister said to help her sell some pants. At the beginning, I took the goods of 2000 yuan, sold them out in two days, and earned 1 100 yuan. He didn't give me my money back.

Nianyou's personal experience has the most say: he contacted a construction site in 2008 and had a good talk with the leaders at that time. We provided some materials. At that time, a so-called friend owed more than 5 million foreign debts, and no one dared to go near him. I also want to make money for this project and help him at the same time. The two of us discussed that I invested 240,000 yuan in partnership, and he took out10.5 million from the 24 Wan Li to pay off the account, and 90,000 yuan began to invest in the project. Fortunately, I earned more than 800,000 yuan in the first year (2008 Olympic Games). Material shortage. Earned more than 8 million in three years. From the second year, he felt that the profit was great and wanted to take this partnership for himself. In 2009, he found fault and had four fights. I am a foreigner, but I haven't given up my professional interest in 20 10. In three years, I paid 59,000 yuan and became a stranger. At the beginning of 20 10, I took it from my loan. I might as well help a dog, feed it and wag its tail to show my gratitude. I just saved a bad wolf and was bitten by it. I want to be quiet [I want to be quiet] [I want to be quiet]

My wife set up a credit card with a limit of 50 thousand five years ago. Because I didn't use it much on weekdays, I was later borrowed by my girlfriend for an emergency and didn't return it for several years. I have told my wife several times to get the card back, but she can't tell her best friend. Fortunately, in recent years, my girlfriend has borrowed and paid back, and she is still obeying the rules.

At the beginning of September, my wife working in Zhejiang received a phone call from the bank saying that her credit card was overdue and asked her to repay it as soon as possible. The wife then called her best friend and asked her to pay back the money quickly. My best friend said that money is tight these days, and I will make it up in a few days. /kloc-at the beginning of 0/0, the bank called again and said that the credit card was overdue. My wife was a little anxious and asked her best friend, who said that she had done it in stages and returned part of it. A few days ago, the bank called for a reminder, and my wife realized that my best friend did pay back the money in installments, but the repayment was not even enough for the down payment. The bank warned that failure to repay within three months will be blacklisted for dishonesty and legal responsibility will be investigated. There is no way to call my girlfriend again. The girlfriend promised to return the money and card to her wife as soon as possible. The issuing bank called several times yesterday, but my wife didn't dare to answer it. She sent a screenshot of the bank call to her best friend, but she never answered it. The wife said that the best friend might get angry. But I can't get angry. The bank urged her, and she only urged her best friend.

I can't believe what her best friend said. We still have to be prepared to fill the hole ourselves. After all, we will be punished if it is overdue, but we will not take the initiative to fill the hole first. Alas, with such an unreliable girlfriend, I can only admit that I am unlucky.

To sum up, our biggest mistake is that our good friend didn't take back the credit card in time after borrowing it once. Our connivance not only hurt our best friends, but also probably hurt their friendship for more than ten years. Facts have once again proved a truth: borrowing money is the best touchstone to identify friendship. It is the borrower who decides whether to borrow or not, and it is the borrower who has not yet been identified.

Finally, let's ask a question. I think unprincipled people will make enemies nine times out of ten!

Whenever I see my relatives, friends and social groups, when they are in danger, I always feel that I can help them through their difficulties and sorrows, and it can also show ruthless, caring and considerate civil actions.

So, under what circumstances is it easy to help people become enemies? I think helping others depends on who you help. Whether you should help or not, you must have a clear thinking and feeling.

First of all, when they meet relatives and friends at different times, when they can't help themselves, and when they ask for help, most people will never stand by and help them. This is a gesture of human kindness and should be carried forward.

Second, when people help others, they often encounter incredible things that make you entangled. Is to have a limit, not exactly, endless help and help, is also a matter of course. Not helping, not only ungrateful, but also accounting. Instead, it will become an enemy and make people regret it. If you meet such people, you might as well not help them, so as to avoid endless future troubles.

Thirdly, I feel that whenever I want to help others, I should always remember a limit, not be too charitable, and measure it according to the family's economic needs. Otherwise, being helped will not only be ungrateful, but also hurt and annoy others.

In a word, helping others is helping yourself. In today's economically developed society, we are carrying forward a caring charity activity. Everyone is dedicating a little bit of love, and I don't know how many people have been saved in distress, which makes people feel grateful from the heart, that is, people can't move but can't hurt, harmony is unlovable, and warmth is beyond help.

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True help must be for the selfish purpose of others, not for seeking fame in return, and not for self-serving help. Otherwise, it is possible to just help in the name of superiors, and it is easy to turn hatred into hatred.

There should be no business purpose, sarcasm, exhortation or condescension in helping others, otherwise all those who accept your help will be trampled on like beggars. When the recipient can't look you in the eye, his most precious dignity will be scraped away by some cheap help from you. Will he accept you gladly?

If you don't give people food or clothes, just point the camera at them and let them talk about their cognition and feelings, as well as his heartfelt gratitude and his tearful emotional temptation. How can you be a kind helper? Is this a completely evil torture? Remember, most hatred begins with humiliating people's self-esteem.

If you want to help others, those who want to be helped by you have to think about you all the time. You always pretend to be a benefactor on various occasions and let him think about helping them. If you don't like it at all, you will be called an ungrateful villain. You want to help people once, but for life. How can such evil deeds not make life hate it?

It is not difficult to do a good deed. Some people can pull people over as easily as blowing off dust. Some people's gratitude is only in their hearts. They may not be able to repay you or learn from you to help others. This is a relay of good deeds, a silent promotion and Hui Ze's contribution to society.

Therefore, if you are not resented by life, don't treat duty as non-duty. Don't treat charity as charity unless you are resented by life. If you don't hate life, don't take the self-esteem of the helped as a stepping stone.

Thanks to the invitation of Secretary Wukong, I answered the questions of the subject seriously today.

(a), under what circumstances is easy to help people become enemies? No matter what the circumstances, as long as you help others selflessly and sincerely, you won't help others in return! On the contrary, anyone who "helps" others with ulterior motives in the name of helping others will "help" them into enemies. People's hearts are all fleshy, and people who are not stupid will understand that others are selfless to help themselves. This man is his benefactor, and those who receive help will get the grace of dripping water! As long as you help others sincerely and ask for nothing in return, how can you help them become enemies? This statement simply doesn't hold water.

However, when some people are doing things with ulterior motives under the banner of helping others, nine times out of ten they can really help them become enemies. I won't say anything about high-end products, which is easy to cause discomfort. Today, I will talk about some trivial things at the grassroots level to prove it.

Now many migrant workers go out to work, leaving only the elderly and children at home. Most of them are left-behind women and elderly people in their sixties and seventies. Some morally corrupt men in the village, in the name of helping others farm, have an affair with some left-behind women in proper relationship. How can such "gang" people not "gang" into enemies? ! ! !

There is also a colleague of mine who falls in love with the child's mother in the name of helping relatives and children arrange jobs. Finally, the chicken flew over the wall and the whole family was defeated. It was just a hasty ending. Can this not help?

(2) the pursuit of fame and fortune is actually a real action for personal interests, which will help to make enemies. The purpose of turning it over to the village Committee office for the village is to get a homestead in the village and turn it over to the clinic. As a result, the reputation of a county CPPCC member may be lost. Such help has not only been recognized by the villagers, but also by the county leaders. It ended in discord. This kind of gang, which focuses on personal interests, not only helps family and friendship, but also helps revenge. The villagers looked down on his tricks.

Finally, I still say this sentence,

Sincerely helping others to bear good results, and pretending to help others is out of predestined love. Helping others should be a very happy thing, but in real life, many people who help others turn out to be enemies, which really makes people feel chilling. Under what circumstances is it easy to help others become enemies? Generally, there are three situations:

One is to help people who have no principles. Helping others is a matter of principle. As the saying goes, "emergency does not save the poor." Is to tell us what kind of people deserve our help. When helping others, we should see clearly what the person being helped is. If a grateful and thoughtful person encounters a crisis in his life, such as students going to school, saving lives and being short of money, or other natural and man-made disasters, he must lend a helping hand to help people tide over the crisis. If you help a person addicted to drugs and gambling, you are hurting him. Sometimes, you will not only get nothing in return, but also bring yourself trouble and even turn against each other. Helping a person who doesn't know how to be grateful and how to reciprocate will not have a good result in the end.

The second is a gang with no bottom line. There is a saying in China: "Fight rice for goodness, bear rice for enmity". When someone is in trouble, he will appreciate your little help, but if you give him too much help, he will feel dependent, and once you stop helping him, he will turn to hate you. You help him a hundred times, and once you don't help him, he will get angry and resent you. Get used to it and forget to be grateful. Help people grasp the limits and keep the bottom line. Not much help. If you have, others will take it for granted that you help me. If you don't help me, it's a big violation and you shouldn't!

The third is condescending gangs. There are some people in life who think they have strength and ability, are full of enthusiasm and care for others, and always feel that others are weak and need help, showing their enthusiasm. No matter whether others are willing or not, they always help others with a sympathetic and condescending attitude. As everyone knows, sometimes it seems to others that you just mind your own business. You think you are helping others, but others think it's none of your business. You're the one who meddled. This will cause many inexplicable misunderstandings and embarrassment, embarrassing the other party and embarrassing yourself.

In a word, helping others is a praiseworthy kindness, and it can also bring great happiness to yourself. But we must grasp the principle, keep the bottom line and not cross the line. Otherwise it will help to become an enemy! Author's point of view: The ancients said: "Rise Mien, fight Miqiu!" This statement makes sense. The greatest evil of human nature is that once you get used to it, you take it for granted. You helped others nine times, and you were offended without once.

I have read a classic saying: you are kind to others, just like giving him a candy. Candy melts in your mouth and its taste is soon forgotten. Your unkindness to others is like stabbing a thorn in the other person's heart, which makes people feel very sad and unforgettable.

I am deeply convinced!

There's no shame in saying it. My little sister, I love her very much. If I give my daughter a lot of love, I will give her eight points.

Care from childhood, never refuse to spend money. After she got married, she started a company at home, helped to find a job, helped to find a loan, guaranteed them, lent them money, and I even gave them my car. It can be said that I have done everything my sister can do.

Affected by the epidemic this year, their funds are very tight. I just bought a house, and I have no money, and they have been asking me for money.

I spoke again yesterday, but I couldn't get it out and refused. Now I have a grudge, the phone is not answered, and WeChat is not returned. How sad I am as a sister!

Helping people really needs moderation. If you help too much, you will become an enemy!

Help people who are not grateful. People say that an emergency is not poverty. You help him (her) ten times, a hundred times, and once you don't help him (her), you become an enemy. I have a relative and many brothers and sisters. My little brother always helps my sister. He borrows money, but never pays it back. From a hundred to thousands. Even tens of thousands If the younger brother has no money, he will help them to go out and borrow money at high interest rates. When I borrowed money from my master, my sister said that she had no money and refused to give it many times. Helpless, my brother paid the money for my sister first. One day, my brother was ill in hospital and had no money. No one gave him money when he asked his sister for it. Ask a few more times and it will turn into hatred. Sisters also said that you are so rich that you still need this money.

I want to ask my heartless sister how she coaxed her brother. Should my brother be rewarded for his kindness?

I have met many people who are so heartless. It is said that good is rewarded with good, and evil with evil. It's not that they don't report it Not yet. May good people be happy and healthy forever! The bad guys will get the punishment they deserve, otherwise there will be no justice and the good guys will be rewarded!