2010 New Crosstalk "You Have to Toss"
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Guo: Thank you, I am very happy to stand with Teacher Yu again
Yu: Here we go again
Guo: So good It’s rare for actors to speak their consciences
Yu: You’re welcome
Guo: Sometimes you go to Deyun Club
Yu: Yes
< p>Guo: It’s not common to see Teacher Yu in the theaterYu: Yes
Guo: Teacher Yu Qian only comes out twice a year
Yu: Yes
Guo: Qingming Festival, July 15th
Yu: Okay, I came out to collect the tribute, right?
Guo: This is, I can’t speak, so I just say you are a good actor
Yu: You praise me
Guo: An actor has a process from learning to becoming mature
p>
Yu: Yes
Guo: Why?
Yu: En
Guo: Crosstalk looks simple, but it is actually the same as singing< /p>
Yu: Yes
Guo: We must work hard
Yu: Oh, this is necessary
Guo: It’s impossible not to work hard< /p>
Yu: En
Guo: Get up early and stay late, shout out your voice
Yu: Practice your voice
Guo: Practice your kung fu
< p>Yu: YesGuo: There is an age difference now, but Teacher Yu still keeps practicing morning exercises
Yu: Ang, get up in the morning
Guo : Ang, he wakes up earlier than the chicken and goes to bed later than the chicken
Yu: You have mastered the life patterns of these two chickens
Guo: Okay
Yu: Hey, no one talks like that
Guo: I have a very good family
Yu: Hey, my family is pretty good
Guo: Ah , you think about it, this is the business, everyone is having fun together, we have to go out and talk cross talk
Yu: We are busy
Guo: That’s not okay.
His sister-in-law is very kind to him
Yu: My wife
Guo: Ah, the child is also very cute
Yu: Yes, obedient
< p>Guo: Take a lookYu: Yes
Guo: Let’s tell the truth
Yu: Yes
Guo: You I am a very happy person
Yu: Well, not bad
Guo: Let’s be honest, when can I miss you? I
Yu: ah?
Guo: I am worth it in this life
Yu: So you still envy me
Guo: Oh, I hope, I Can become a great person
Yu: Oh~
Guo: I feel like I am inferior to anyone else
Yu: No worse than anyone else
Guo: Really?
Yu: Yes
Guo: My height
Yu: Why do you click on this?
Guo: It’s obvious that I’m very energetic. With my temperament, I said to myself, I, I won’t go to North Korea to be an official.
I’ll be upset even if I don’t go to the official position
Yu: Look, you pick this country, I’ll tell you
Guo: Just say this
Yu: Ah, that’s it.
Guo: I, I am a person who wants to make progress
Yu: That’s good for you
Guo: I hope so. I hope I can be a good person in the near future. Can be particularly good
Yu: Oh, I hope so
Guo: I hope I have money, this is not an exaggeration
Yu: Having money is a good thing Son
Guo: Yes, if everyone is rich, the country will be prosperous
Yu: Yes
Guo: Isn’t it
Yu: En
Guo: There is a rich list
Yu: I know
Guo: Do ??you accept the ranking list
Yu: Yes : Ang... the ranking list of whether you are convinced or not! ?
Guo: What is it called?
Yu: Forbes Rich List
Guo: If you don’t accept it, I’ll tear it up for you
Yu: Hahaha, what’s going on with the kidnapping
Guo: You know how powerful this industry is
Yu: Hi, no, just call it Forbes
Guo: Forbes rankings
Yu: Yes
Guo: I watch it every day
Yu: Why are you watching others?
Guo: I really wish I was on it but I have never been there
Yu: How fresh is it
Guo: Is it a typographical error
< p>Yu: You remember it (well) I have been with you for a long time, so I printed it wrongGuo: When can I print it wrong
Yu: Hey, my family Hi, why are you looking forward to this day?
Guo: No--
Yu: What does it matter if it is printed wrong?
Guo: It will be wrong if it is printed. There is me
Yu: What does it mean to have you?
Guo: I sympathize with many people who live unhappy lives
Yu: I still sympathize with others
p>
Guo: If you look at it, many people drive second-hand cars, live in second-hand houses, and marry second-hand wives
Yu: Aha, my wives are also second-hand
Guo: How much have you complained about in this life
Yu: Not good
Guo: Well, my life is pretty good, right?
Yu: Really ?
Guo: Adjust your own state
Yu: It’s mainly about your mentality
Guo: I want to live a quality life in all aspects
Yu : That’s not bad
Guo: Isn’t it
Yu: Yes
Guo: It’s okay, I’ll watch the show
Yu: Ah , also involved in art
Guo: Listen to music
Yu: Good, good, good
Guo: Watch movies
Yu: Well
Guo: That day, I watched a movie
Yu: 鞥
Guo: 2012
Yu: This is a disaster movie
Guo: I’m so depressed after reading it
Yu: Hi, why are you depressed?
Guo: I’m done before the printing is wrong
Yu: Don’t be afraid, don’t think nonsense, movies are works of art and fiction
Guo: I take it seriously<
/p>
Yu: Why are you doing this?
Guo: I have to hurry up and enjoy my trip to the bank
Yu: Oh
Guo: I have to Live well, why do I still have so much money?
Yu: Oh
Guo: I squandered it
Yu: I have to catch up before 2012 Spend this money
Guo: I want to live and drink like crazy
Yu: Just spend money
Guo: I will go to the bank with my card
p>
Yu: I went to withdraw the money
Guo: What’s the use of keeping the money
Yu: Yes
Guo: I’ll keep these two I’ve taken out a thousand dollars and I’m going to squander it
Yu: You go first
Guo: Travel around the world!
Yu: Okay! < /p>
Yu: Hi, hi, hi, why don’t you just buy a monthly pass and that’s it?
Guo: I’ll go to the bank and withdraw money
Yu: Oh
< p>Guo: Take 200 firstYu: Keep 1800
Guo: Come on, come out, I pick up each piece one by one and rub it desperately
Yu : Well
Guo: They said banks also have fake ones
Yu: You can’t be prepared for that
Guo: Rub
Yu: Ang
Guo: It’s been too long, I’ve swallowed the card
Yu: Oh, I’ve swallowed the card
Guo: I can do it with just these 200 yuan. What to do
Yu: If you rub it again, even the 200 will be fake
Guo: I’ll put it in my pocket
Yu: 鞥
Guo: Walking on the street, no matter where I am, I will take a stroll
Yu: Take a stroll
Guo: Ah, I will open my heart
Yu: Huh
Guo: I want to be worthy of myself
Yu: Spend money
Guo: Hey, when I look up, there is a temple here
p>Yu: Oh the temple
Guo: I will go there to burn incense and pray to the Buddha
Yu: To achieve psychological balance
Guo: Find someone Good omen
Yu: Sure
Guo: Just go (go), there is such a big plaque at the door
Yu: Oh
Guo: Blue background with green characters
Yu: What is written on it?
Guo: Scam Temple
Yu: Scam Temple, you are so good, how can you get better
Guo: Such an auspicious place
Yu: Alas, this is a good thing to say
Guo: This is too foreign
Yu: Oh
Guo: Go ahead
Yu: I really dare to go in
Guo: Step in, where is the Buddhist Sutra?
Yu: Oh
Guo: Overwhelmed with joy... ...
Yu: Big Big Wolf, how do you sing this part?
Guo: I was shocked
Yu: That's right
Guo: I was about to leave, but he turned around and saw me, "Welcome, don't miss it if you pass by.
Yu: Hey, that's good. This monk works in this temple as a businessman.
Guo: I Come in, ah, hello master, "Oh, hello, donor, haha, are you here to make a donation?" ”
Yu: I need money when I come down
Guo: I didn’t bring much money
Yu: Yes
Guo: “You can swipe your card”
Yu: Hey, no delay
Guo: That——I swallowed the card
Yu: Tell the truth
Guo ：You can get a small loan
Yu: Oh, the thief will not go short.
Guo: There is nothing to "mortgage" this
Yu: Yes
Guo: "Oh...are you willing to donate your organs? ”
Yu: Oh my god, you have to leave a little of everything, right?
Guo: I hate you so much that you’re asking me to eat and wear clothes. Crazy
Yu: I really want it
Guo: I don’t have any money to sue you
Yu: I just have no money
Guo: I know Well, look at your appearance, you are sick!
Yu: Ang
<p>Guo: The monk is happy (well) "You have medicine"
Yu: Hey, what are you doing?
Guo: How much do you eat? "How much do you have?" How much do you eat? "I will eat as much as you have." Are you sick?
"You have medicine?"
Yu: Okay, okay... You have nothing to do with him. Words
Guo: I don’t know who to blackmail yet, do you know?
Yu: Why are you talking about this?
Guo: You’re staring at me. You go out
Yu: Let’s go
Guo: Oh, why is my heart so blocked (ei)
Yu: Ang
Guo: There is a botanical garden here
Yu: Oh, the vegetation
Guo: There are all kinds of trees in it
Yu: Oh
Guo: There are trees in the south, trees in the north, cactus, and various fruit trees.
Yu: Hey
Guo: What scientists say is that seeing more green things is good for people. It’s good
Yu: He’s eye-catching
Guo: Come in, it’s so beautiful
Yu: They’re all plants
Guo : There are green things in every tree, and my heart feels calm once I see them
Yu: That’s
Guo: Suddenly I think of a person
< p>Yu: Who?Guo: There is one, Newton
Yu: Oh, that’s a scientist
Guo: Master Niu
Yu: Master Niu?
Guo: Sitting under the apple tree
Yu: En
Guo: The apple smashed on the head (en) He figured out the law of gravity
p>
Yu: Yes
Guo: Benefit mankind
Yu: En
Guo: Why am I so negative (yo) Why am I like What does he look like
Yu: Ang
Guo: I also sit under the tree (oh) and think about life
Yu: Think about it
Guo: Bang, it worked
Yu: Apple
Guo: A durian fell down
Yu: Oops, okay, please wake up first Bar
Guo: Oops, I woke up after an hour
Yu: I fainted for an hour
Guo: Why didn’t I look at you
p>
Yu: Hey, I'm sitting under the wrong tree. This is you
Guo: Maybe I want to get rich
Yu: Yes
Guo: In front of me They are all stars
Yu: Risking the Venus
Guo: When I put this bag in, my pockets are all turned over
Yu: Someone even robbed me this hour
Guo: I don’t have my mobile phone either (oh) and I don’t even have my great two hundred yuan
Yu: Hey here
Guo: I still have some change in my pocket
Yu: Ang
Guo: Oh, you left some change for me. I don’t need a mobile phone if I have the money.
Yu: Yes, what should we do if we make a phone call
Guo: Where is the mobile phone?
Yu: Ang
Guo: There is a man and a woman next to me
Yu: Oh
Guo: The man shouted "Whose?! Whose?!"
Yu: Oh
< p>Guo: I said mineYu: Oh
Guo: Come here and slap me in the mouth
Yu: What’s wrong
Guo: That woman is pregnant
Yu: Alas, people ask whose child this child is
Guo: Didn’t you kill me unjustly?
Yu: Who told you to shout nonsense without hearing clearly?
Guo: When I was a child
Yu: Ah
Guo: I woke up again
Yu: Well, I was knocked unconscious for another hour
Guo: Walked out of the botanical garden
Yu: Yes
Guo: Mine The soul has been purified and sublimated
Yu: This is all waste
Guo: Well, what are you talking about
Yu: After beating the nonsense twice, you are purified< /p>
Guo: En feels very hungry
Yu: Hungry
Guo: Fortunately I still have some change
Yu: Yes< /p>
Guo: There is a small food stall on the street
Yu: Eat something
Children's stuff
Guo: Laid-off workers did it
Yu: Oh
Guo: Fried rice and fried cakes
Yu: Oh
Guo: Boil a bowl of noodles
Yu: Eat something to make do
Guo: Side dishes
Yu: Yes
Guo: I’m going to splurge while I’m sitting here
Yu: How can you splurge at this stall
Guo: Cook three noodles and two dumplings
Yu: Hey, okay, the food is big enough
Guo: I’m waiting here
Yu: Yes
Guo: Over there—— ——wu
Yu: What?
Guo: An urban management car came
Yu: Oh
Guo: Lian The food stalls were all gone at that time
Yu: They all ran away
Guo: I am the only one left sitting here
Yu: You There are also miscellaneous things like this
Guo: The car stopped
Yu: En
Guo: Two urban management officers came down
Yu: Oh
Guo: The two of them looked very depressed
Yu: What's wrong
Guo: I said don't drive, you see there is no food to eat
p>
Yu: Well, they are here to eat too. These two are screwed (I don’t understand)
Guo: I am very hungry
Yu: Well, there is no food< /p>
Guo: We have to find a place to eat
Yu: Yes
Guo: There is a small restaurant next to it
Yu: Oh
p>Guo: Let me go there to have something to eat
Yu: Just a bite
Guo: Just walk in and go
Yu: Ang
Guo: There is a yellow plastic sign on the ground (oh) that says slide carefully
Yu: Okay, ok, ok, ok, hey, ok, ok, you Well, why don’t you bring a dictionary with you when you go to a restaurant?
Don’t slide and slide carefully. You know, you’ll wake up if you smash the durian again. You have a convulsion with this guy
< p>Isn’t it?Guo: I’m having fun
Yu: Hey
Guo: 欻欻欻chua
Yu: Crazy
Guo: I looked up
Yu: Ah
Guo: The boss looked up at me
Yu: I don’t know what to do but it’s still slippery
Guo: Are you sick?
Yu: Talk about others
Guo: “You have medicine”
Yu: Hi, eh
Guo: "How much do you eat?" How much do you have?
Yu: Okay, okay
Guo: "Eat Eat as much as you want----
Yu: You are sick, let me tell you, why are you shouting this to others
Guo: Alas , why is my life so unsatisfactory?
Yu: You can’t be happy, you are always like this
Guo: Sit here and cook a bowl of noodles
Yu: Eat a bowl Face
Guo: I will destroy your family today
Yu: Who
Guo: I have to give you some trouble
Yu: Why are you so awkward?
Guo: The noodles are cooked (ah) it’s so clever to use chopsticks to pull them out
Yu: What’s wrong
Guo: Pinch out a cockroach
Yu: I don’t care
Guo: Hum, ah
Yu: I caught it
< p>Guo: What should I do? The boss’s face is paleYu: I’m scared
Guo: Give me a pair of chopsticks
Yu: Hey, give me a pair of chopsticks. This is What about the chopsticks thing? Both of them are sick enough
Guo: You’re staring at me. Let’s talk about it when I get back
Yu: Oh, yes, come back. , did you slide out?
Guo: I am being naughty, you know?
Yu: Oh, I’m so annoying. This is not naughty
Guo: Oh, drink it
Yu: Yes
Guo : I was walking on the street and thought to myself, what is this? My days... Hey, hey
Yu: What's the matter
Guo: There is a big billboard here
Yu: What is written
Guo: Selling a house
Yu: Oh
Guo: The newly opened community (oh) has a nice name (well) it’s called Magic Castle
Yu: It’s a good start
Guo: Italian style
Yu: Hey
Guo: 3,000 yuan per square meter
Yu: It’s cheap
Guo: It’s for free
Yu: Yes
Guo: Let me buy two and five buildings
Yu: You want to buy this
Guo: I took a loan
Yu: Loan
Guo: I will pay it back in 2013
Yu: Oh, well, I just don’t have the time to give this money
Guo: Let me live here first
Yu: Oh OK
Guo: Italian style, magic castle
Yu: Yes
p>Guo: I’ve been here since I took the first step, and here I am.
Yu: How?
Guo: It’s really Italian style
Yu: It’s so obvious What?
Guo: The buildings are all crooked
Yu: Oh, is this a leaning tower built like this?
Guo: The sales lady is very polite
p>
Yu: Yes
Guo: If you want to buy it, buy it quickly
Yu: Ah
Guo: I don’t think I can hold on for a few days
Yu: Okay, this is going to collapse
Guo: I said your thing costs 3,000 yuan per square meter, "3,000 yuan per square meter, who told you 3,000?"< /p>
Yu: Why?
Guo: "Fifty thousand and one square meter"
Yu: Why fifty thousand
Guo: I said you write With three thousand
Yu: Yes
Guo: "Three thousand is the property fee"
Yu: Oh
Guo: I When I heard it, oh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yu: Why are you so surprised
Guo: I was surprised. The building behind me was booming——
Yu: The building collapsed just by the sound of my voice
Guo: I’ll leave as soon as I see it
< p>Yu: Let's go quicklyGuo: The sales lady came out of this brick, don't you think you are sick? "Do you have medicine?" "How much do you eat?" "How much do you have
< p>Shao"Yu: If you do this, all the crazy people will come together, it will not kill you
Guo: I can't squander this money
< p>Yu: Why are you squandering the two hundred yuan?Guo: If you lose the two hundred yuan, I still have a thousand and eighty yuan in my card
Yu: Oh, I'm thinking about this
Guo: I'll think about my life and plan it carefully
Yu: Still thinking about it
Guo: Well, I'll go back I took a rest at home
Yu: Ah
Guo: It took me one night, I was like, I just snapped
Yu: How is it
p>Guo: I opened the toilet, and it all clicked
Yu: Did you pry open the door of the public toilet?
Guo: What are you talking about- -
Yu: Why did you open the toilet?
Guo: How do you say it?
Yu: Open the toilet
Guo : This is my enlightenment
Yu: Ah
Guo: Take the money
Yu: Oh
Guo: Take the money Come out
Yu: Oh
Guo: I am ready to live a rich life
Yu: Yes
Guo: I Keeping pets
Yu: Yeah, keeping pets is pragmatic
Guo: Rich people keep pets
Yu: Yes
Guo : Let me, look for some, look for some stars
Yu: What’s wrong
Guo: I’ll take good care of the stars
Yu: You So celebrities should be kept as pets
Guo: I am an entrepreneur
Yu: Entrepreneurs are celebrities
Guo: I always get up at night< /p>
Yu: With your kidney condition, don’t think about being a celebrity
Guo: Yaoxi
Yu: Oh, what, think of something good Son
Guo: You are making fun of me
Yu: Nonsense
Guo: You are sick
Yu: You have medicine< /p>
Guo: You want more--
Yu: Who told you?
This
Guo: Oh, I’m so cute to say this
Yu: What a good thing
Guo: I’ll go, I’ll buy a pet
Yu: Alas
Guo: There is a pet market at the door. I’m going to buy pets
Yu: Let’s have a look
Guo: As soon as I walked in, oh, They sell everything
Yu: Ah
Guo: They sell everything. People say we have everything we want here, ah, people are raising fish
Yu: Huo
Guo: Raising birds
Yu: En
Guo: Raising peacocks
Yu: Ouch< /p>
Guo: Raise that black-bone chicken
Yu: Zhenquan
Guo: Yuanbao chicken
Yu: Enen
Guo: Raise puppies and kittens
Yu: Yes
Guo: This Yuanbao chicken is also a pet
Yu: Hey, is it different from other chickens? Same
Guo: Its head and tail are tilted up
Yu: Ingot shape
Guo: It’s very cute and I said it’s quite fun
p>
Yu: Yes
Guo: From now on I can go out on the streets to walk chickens
Yu: Why are you saying this so awkwardly
Guo: What are you talking about? It's just for fun. How happy are you?
Yu: Why do you keep it?
Guo: Ang, I say this is good. You buy it and choose it, big or small. There are all kinds of chickens, including chickens of this size. We have small ones.
They run very fast and are very cute. I said, OK, OK, sell me the one that runs fast
Yu: Ang
Guo: eee If you don’t sell it, I’ll give you 100 yuan
Yu: 100 yuan is a lot for a chicken
Guo: Two hundred no 400 No
Yu: 嚯
Guo: 500
Yu: Really humble
Guo: I said you are going crazy, If you spend 500 yuan to buy a chicken, it doesn’t mean you won’t sell it. I can’t catch up.
Yu: Hey, why do you still want this thing?
Guo: Buy it Individually
Yu: Yes
Guo: Buy a puppy
Yu: Oh, this is more common
Guo: Buy a dog , pay attention to bloodlines, by the way, I bought a dog whose bloodline is too pure
Yu: How?
Guo: A string of Beijing-Baguomei Tibetan Mastiff Xishi
Yu: Oops , this dog must be a mess in their home
Guo: The more I bought it, the more I liked it
Yu: Ah
Guo: Beautify it to the extreme
p>
Yu: How to beautify this
Guo: Find a beauty salon
Yu: Oh
Guo: Give us a double eyelid piercing
Yu: Take a look
Guo: Let me take a look
Yu: Ang
Guo: How to have double eyelids up and down< /p>
Yu: I was stabbed all the way up and down
Guo: We have a big reward for opening a business here, two stabs for two stabs
Yu: Never heard of it, surgery is also Send
Guo: I said you should give the dog a beauty treatment
Yu: Ah
Guo: Can it be permed?
Yu: Hairdressing
Guo: What kind of perm? I said, have you seen Yu Qian’s end?
Yu: Hi, why did you mention me?
Guo: Just perm him like that
Yu: What are you talking about
Guo: OK, OK, OK.
Got it in
Yu: Yes
Guo: Come out and take a look after perming
Yu: Ah
Guo: Why is there no hair?
Yu: Oh, what do you mean by changing your hairstyle?
Guo: I said what’s going on, I’m sorry, I’m so angry
Yu: Ah< /p>
Guo: This was done with a microwave oven
Yu: Oops
Guo: This grandson originally bought a barbecue
Yu: Changed to cook This
Guo: What should I do?
Yu: En
Guo: Someone asked me, can you give this dog a full face?
Yu: Beauty
Guo: Talk about going to Korea
Yu: There are people with this technology
Guo: Hey, this is a way (well ) Ask a friend to borrow some money to buy a plane ticket, take the dog to South Korea, and check the dog
Yu: En
Guo: Get on the plane, sit there, and pull the seat belt Come on, I'm short
Yu: Wait a moment, do you want the seat belt on the plane to be this short?
Guo: How to fasten it
Yu : This is how you fasten your seat belt
Guo: It’s different from a taxi
Yu: Nonsense
Guo: Ka, I’ll fasten this one, I’m right Yes, eldest sister
Yu: Yes
Guo: Yes, yes, the flight attendant is happy. In fact, you have to wear a seat belt. There will be shaking during the flight. This has happened before
p>It’s a phenomenon. Passengers who don’t wear seat belts get their heads bruised and bleed
Yu: Yes
Guo: Anyone who wears seat belts sits there. Well, just like when you were alive, oh
Yu: Don’t sit down or else, you will die if you don’t hit me
Guo: I’m too late, I’m already flying. Oh my God, I'm vomiting and writhing.
Yu: Oops
Guo: I can't vomit while I'm tied up. Where do I vomit?
Yu: You said
Guo: There is another person sitting next to me
Yu: One more person
Guo: This one Really good, sleep with your eyes closed
Yu: Look at it
Guo: Wearing big sunglasses and blindfolds, I went to his heart
Yu: It’s so disgusting
Guo: He vomited on his forehead
Yu: Oops
Guo: He didn’t respond either and I’m fine.
Yu: Just finish vomiting and you'll be fine
Guo: After a while, the plane landed smoothly, and I saw him wake up
Yu: Oh
Guo: I'll go over and ask him quickly
Yu: Yes
Guo: Are you feeling better
Yu: Who is this, you Do you want to lose or not?
Guo: He understands, "Okay, Yao Xi Yao Xi"
Yu: Hi, you know how to say this
Guo: That’s all I have to say
Yu: Ah
Guo: When I got a job from one of the largest plastic surgery institutions, I told people, “Look at me, do you understand?” I nodded. The attending physician
The doctor wore big sunglasses, a mask, a hat, and a white coat
Yu: Covered everything
Guo: Get this dog inside 了
Yu: Drink
Guo: Wait outside
Yu: Yes
Guo: Waiting for an hour
p>Yu: Oops
Guo: Take it out for me, that’s good
Yu: That’s great
Guo: Like that after the surgery< /p>
Yu: Yes
Guo: Big long ears, two front teeth, jumping up and down eating carrots and drinking
Yu: Please wait for a while Well, here, a dog comes in and a rabbit comes out
Guo: Ouch
Yu: Eat carrots
Guo: He changed it for me
p>
Yu: Yes
Guo: I said this is wrong, right? Where is my dog? I waved my hand and this is it. I said you don’t do this to me
Yu: He doesn’t admit it
Guo: I’ll sue you for drinking. Pay me back quickly, or I’ll never end it with you
Yu: Yes
< p>Guo: He was so happy that he took off his maskYu: Ang
Guo: You even vomited all over me on the plane
Yu: Hi
p>