18 years old, legally speaking, is just an adult age. But at the same time, 18 years old is another wonderful watershed for the world.

Before 18 years old, if you are a boy or a girl, then after 18 years old, you will become a "leftover man and woman"; /kloc-before the age of 0/8, your parents only asked you to study, and nothing else. /kloc-After 0/8 years old, they will ask you to become a mature "adult" immediately.

/kloc-before the age of 0/8, your parents tried their best to stop you from puppy love and told you that learning is the most important thing; /kloc-after the age of 0/8, they began to urge you to find someone quickly and want you to get married quickly.

This seems to be a very puzzling place. It seems that after 18 years old, your life will change completely overnight. You need to be mature and responsible, you need to grow into an adult directly, you need to get married and have children early, and you need to complete your "great career in life". This is what your parents need to do when they are 18 years old.

In fact, I always think that only a few traditional parents should let their children get married prematurely. Unexpectedly, a girl asked me for help. She was born after suffering in the traditional mode of early marriage and early pregnancy.

Readers ask for help:

Let's call this girl An for the time being. An An claimed to be after 00, and her husband was after 99, obviously still young. In fact, they have been married for more than a year and their children have been 10 months.

Ann said that she didn't really know much about men and women. She knew her husband for two months and found out that she was pregnant. She had to marry each other, so she didn't like it. In-laws have a good attitude and gave a bride price according to local customs. Parents see each other's family conditions are not bad, so they resolutely agree to get married, and the young couple get married.

The wedding room is in the husband's name, and the monthly loan is paid by the in-laws. For this reason, her husband went to her in-laws' shop to help, but Ann never saw a penny of her monthly salary.

She got pregnant as soon as she got married. Ann didn't go to work, so she simply took care of the baby at home, but from pregnancy to ten months of children, not to mention her husband's salary. Ann spent her own money on the Internet to buy milk powder diapers and clothes for her children, and her husband criticized Ann for shopping indiscriminately.

Mother-in-law can't help her with the children. My mother-in-law has a second child, and she is my younger brother. She is only a little over one year old and can't take care of Ann, so Ann can only take care of the children by herself.

Ann takes care of her children alone day and night, so it's inconvenient to go shopping far away. How can she maintain her daily life without online shopping? Usually, my husband never gives money, but his in-laws will give Ann some money from time to time for her daily expenses.

Besides, my husband has hardly seen the children. He goes to work at eight in the day and doesn't come back until after ten in the evening. Even if he is at home, playing games or playing mobile phones and letting him look after the children or do housework, he will be angry: "Then why should I marry you?"

Once, my husband bought a gold earring and a jade bracelet after a quarrel to apologize to Ann. After a long time, Ann realized that they were all fake. Her husband spent 19.9 yuan to buy them in the street stall, but at the same time, he also wrote an invoice of 699 yuan to deceive himself.

Nowadays, what my husband often talks about is: "Look how ugly you are! 140 kg! I don't deserve anywhere! I have a house and a car. My father is still the village head. If I divorce you, some women want to marry me! "

A bad marriage is like a straw on the bed. Ann is struggling whether to get a divorce or not.

Bian Xiao review

Ann's narrative is very confusing, and her marital status can be said to be quite complicated. Let's analyze them one by one.

1. This man is too young to be responsible for his wife and children.

It is said that women will grow up quickly after marriage, especially after giving birth to children. This is because most of the responsibilities of family and raising children are on women, forcing women to "be mothers" and adapt to the life of caring for children as soon as possible.

Men with immature minds have almost no difference before and after marriage. After work, they can still drink late, do nothing when they get home, just watch their mobile phones or play games, have no consideration for their wives, have no love for their children, and are unaware of their responsibilities and obligations to marriage. Such a marriage will go wrong sooner or later.

2. I am still at the age of fun and don't cherish marriage.

19 of the age, 20 years old has just stepped out of the taboo that parents are not allowed to puppy love, and can slowly set foot in the transitional stage of the adult world, which is also a playful age.

Many young people are eager for love, but they are forced into a cruel marriage. Their playful nature collides with the boring marriage life, and they don't understand the preciousness of marriage. They think that divorce is like breaking up, and it is easy to give up.

A pair of chopsticks can still trip, not to mention two people who have lived together for a long time? Contradictions and differences are the conditions that every relationship will encounter. At present, the first thing to consider is communication, knowing where the bottom line is, and trying to solve the problem, instead of talking about divorce so easily.

3. Inexperienced, get along with deception.

For love, neither of them has any experience, let alone how to deal with gender relations. For Ann's husband, it is even more unbearable to apologize with cheap jewelry and forged invoices, which seriously hurts Ann's self-esteem and the feelings of both sides.

Two people can get along for a long time by being calm and antagonistic, treating each other sincerely, caring for each other and caring for each other. If you get along with deception and lies, then don't complain about being betrayed and leaving.

4. I have been protected by my parents and have not been independent.

It can be seen that Ann's husband didn't have a job after school, but went directly to his parents' shop to help. That is to say, he has been protected under his parents' wings and has not been honed and hit by society.

Not to mention his ability to resist pressure, he has no sense of independence at all. He depends on his parents both economically and spiritually, not to mention letting him take due responsibility for his small family when he grows up.

Under the protection of parents, people will never grow up. Only by stepping out of the comfort zone and bravely coming out to meet the storm can we experience a tough character and a positive attitude, and we can really sink our hearts and understand what we really want.

It is a pity to be tied down by marriage and children too early.

An An later said that she regretted getting married and having children so early. She still has a lot of scenery to see, things to do and skills to learn, so she was caught by her children. However, she still likes the child very much and can't bear to give up. She wants to raise her children hard.

Indeed, when you are alone, even in the married world, you can travel freely, eat delicious food, study, struggle and work hard for your future.

However, once you have children, you will become a housewife with no job and no income. You can only take care of the baby and eat at the same time. At least the next three years will be such a daily life, so your great youth will be erased by your parents.

Being trapped in trivial reality prematurely is more difficult to achieve freedom and independence.

Generally speaking, the problem lies in "early marriage"

To sum up, the main problem of an 'an marriage lies in entering the marriage prematurely before the mind is mature.

In China's traditional concept, "parents' orders and matchmakers' words" have always been reasonable, but both boys and girls should have their own opinions.

Women's education level has improved and their sense of independence has become stronger and stronger. However, early marriage has not brought any advantages, and it will even become a drag on the future, which has also become the reason why women are increasingly reluctant to marry early.

Conclusion:

Indeed, in recent years, China's fertility rate has dropped seriously. It has been suggested that in order to improve the fertility rate and solve the problem of population aging, the age limit for marriage should be further lowered, so that people can get married and have children at the age of 18. I have to say that this proposal is ridiculous.

I always thought it was 2020, and the probability of this phenomenon was very small. However, I didn't expect that early marriage would still occur in some places. For example, An An and her husband didn't even reach marriageable age, and the consequences would be very bad.

Ann has at least a sense of mission as a mother. If the young couple are careless and irresponsible, the child can only be raised by grandparents, which is really pitiful for the child.

I hope that both boys and girls, after they are mature and have a calm view on marriage, can think about getting married when they meet someone who wants to get married, instead of stumbling all the way, which will only be bumpy in the end.