Buying a house is a great joy, but there are also some jokes that often happen when buying a house. Below I have brought you some funny jokes related to buying a house. I hope you will like it.

The funny jokes about buying a house are so nonsensical that you will die laughing!

1. The slogan of a certain real estate project: "My mother said: You want to buy it If I get the house here, I will marry you." A teacher's comment on the slogan was: "I can only reply to her: Damn it."

2. The total area of ??the intestinal tract is 200. Square meters, our house is not as big as the place where shit lives, it is better to be shit, it is really worse than shit.

3. "Xiao Wang, I heard that you bought a house last month, congratulations." < /p>

"Hey, it's not a happy event to spend all the money your parents spent on old age."

"Then your wife just gave birth to a pair of twins for you, which is always a happy event!" < /p>

Xiao Wang took a swig of Erguotou without saying a word.

"Could it be......could they both be boys?"

Xiao Wang remained silent, but two lines of hot tears were quietly shed.

The problem of favoring sons over daughters has not been solved in China for thousands of years, and now real estate has solved it...

4. After the death of an old Chinese lady and an old American lady, They met in heaven and talked to each other. The old American woman said that she bought a house when she was young and paid off the mortgage until she died. She spent her whole life paying off the debt, but she lived in the house all her life. The old Chinese woman said that she I have wanted to own my own house my whole life, so I have saved money all my life, but I just bought the house and died after living in it for a day. What a pity.

5. Wife: You stay at home reading books and surfing the Internet all day, so you can’t go out and socialize?

Husband: You used to like me for being honest and honest. Didn’t you say that being a homebody is good? Okay?

Wife: I’m talking about the mansion man!

6. When a real estate project is launched, the real estate developer produces a large advertisement to attract the public. It reads: No house, no wife. At the end of the year real estate industry association appraisal meeting, the real estate developer won the title of "The Most Honest Real Estate Developer".

7. A man with all his savings came to a residential sales center and wanted to buy a building. He asked the sales lady: "How much is your house price?" The sales lady said: "10,000 for the first floor, 11,000 for the second floor, 12,000 for the third floor, 13,000 for the fourth floor..." He quickly called. The lady who sold the house said in her introduction: "That's enough, that's enough. Your house is too high. If you build it underground, I can afford it."

8. Some girls have the same housing prices. When you look back, you will find that you made a mistake in not taking action at the time...

9. Annual income of more than 1 million&mdash ;— You can buy a house wherever you like; the annual income is between 300,000 and 1 million yuan - you can buy a house wherever you like in the city center; the annual income is between 150,000 and 300,000 - most of the people in the hometown city Buy a house wherever you like; with an annual income of less than 100,000 - dig a hole for yourself and bury it wherever you like!

10. Garlic is precious, and mung beans are more expensive. If you cry about the house price, save money All can be thrown away.

Driving jokes, humorous driving jokes

1. Self-denial

Truck driver: "People sometimes break their past promises. This may be a sign of growth. It’s a manifestation of self-denial and rebirth, which is not a bad thing.”

Salesperson: “What a shame, you can’t afford to buy a car and you’re still pretending, don’t let me interrupt you. Legs!"

2. Where can I find spare parts?

When a truck driver drove through a mountain village, he asked the local residents: "Excuse me, where can I find truck spare parts here?"

"Go forward. There is a canyon after the sharp turn. There are many people down there." The resident looked at him and said leisurely.

3. Blind date

Woman: "What car did you drive here?"

Man: "I don't have a car!"

Woman: "We don't even have a car. We're not suitable. Goodbye!"

Man: "My dad sent me here in a heavy truck!"

Woman: "I was just joking. , Haha, by the way, how many years has your dad been driving a heavy truck?"

Male: "I don't know, this is his first year as a driver with the boss!"

Female: " Get out!"

4. Wife's experience

On the streets of Paris, a moving truck splashed mud all over a Corsican man.

The Corsican yelled at the driver as he got out of the truck. "It's outrageous! If this were the case in Corsica, the driver would immediately get out of the car, apologize to the person, take him to his home, wash his clothes, and treat him to champagne. , and kept him overnight. The next morning, he was invited to have breakfast and given money before sending him on his way." Truck driver: "This is absolutely impossible!"

Kosi. Marie Claire: "It's true!"

Truck driver: "Is this your personal experience?"

Corsican: "My wife experienced it."

5. Disadvantages of not installing a retarder

A truck of a certain brand filled with piglets that was not equipped with a retarder failed and was moving rapidly along the downhill road. A man was chasing the car closely behind him.

An old man passing by took a look and said to the man chasing the truck: "Brother! Forget it, you can't catch it!"

"I have to catch up with it. "The man gasped and said: "I am the driver of this car!"

6. Detour

Driver: Coach, the exam is tomorrow. I am so nervous.

Coach: Don’t be nervous, just think about your money.

Driver: Why are you thinking about money?

Coach: Looking at those signs, you have to imagine them as police officers who come to pay or fine you, and you will bypass them. .

7. The poor man’s creed

Truck driver: “I like to buy second-hand goods, especially because they have a sense of historical vicissitudes. The precipitation and accumulation of years make me feel their different charm. "

Dealer: "Speak like a human being!"

Truck driver: "Poor."

8. No money and no knowledge

< p> A truck driver walked into a 4S shop and saw a very luxurious imported truck.

Disdainfully said to the dealer: "Anyone who drives this kind of car must have no knowledge in his belly!"

The dealer replied lightly: "People who say such things, There must be no money in your pocket!"

9. You are the pig

Zhang San was driving on a mountain road. Just as he was enjoying the beautiful scenery leisurely, he suddenly saw an oncoming truck. The driver rolled down the window and shouted: "Pig!"

The more Zhang San thought about it, the angrier he became, and he also rolled down the window and yelled: "You are a fucking pig!"

Just now After cursing, he ran into a group of pigs crossing the road.

10. Beware of those who come

On the expressway, there is a lot of traffic, one after another. There is a long blank space behind only one truck.

The patrol officer was very strange and hurriedly drove the police car to check. He saw a conspicuous large wooden sign hanging on the back of the truck, which read: This car has collided with other vehicles 20 times, and the score is: 17 wins, 2 draws, with only one slight loss. Please be careful if you come here!

Selected funny jokes: Can you help me give birth to a puppy when you have time?

1. One day, I went to the night market and saw a ring. At the stall, the sign said, "Put on whatever you see, and give to whatever you catch!"

So I bought ten yuan and threw them all at the proprietress!

2. Wife: "I heard that a beautiful wife will give birth to a handsome son, and a handsome husband will give birth to a beautiful daughter. Husband, we..."

Husband: "Let's adopt one...

”

3. One day, the teacher educated the students: Do you know the dangers of charging and talking on the phone at the same time? Charging and calling others for two consecutive hours, guess what happened?

Xiao Ming: The machine is down.

4. Xiao Wu came to the unit with his head wrapped in gauze, and everyone asked him what happened. At night, he was tinkering with fireworks with a cigarette in his mouth, and accidentally the fireworks exploded in the house!"

"Did you explode like this?" everyone asked.

"No. "Xiao Wu replied depressedly, "My wife beat me. ”

5. What is the highest level of trust you have in a person?

“Old Wang, I’m not here these days. Please take care of my girlfriend.” ”

6. I was pregnant with my second child. My son lay on my belly and asked: Mom, after you give birth to this baby, will you help me give birth to a puppy when you have time?

7. I had bad gastrointestinal problems and went to the hospital to order a stool test. When I went to the queue window to wait for the test, I saw the people in front of me were using cotton swabs to test, so I left out with half a kilogram of stool in my hand.

8. My girlfriend and I went swimming yesterday, and we were the only ones in the pool. Suddenly, I drowned. Although the water was only as deep as my hair, I still drowned when I couldn’t stand up to breathe. When the air was about to die, she slowly crawled out of the swimming pool. So I was rescued~

9. I remember when I was in college, on the way back to the dormitory, I saw something in the corner. A girl stood with a frown on her face. I walked over and asked her what was wrong, and she said shyly: "You... would you like to lend me... your shoulder?" I replied decisively: "I do! "A smile burst out on the girl's face, and then she stepped on my shoulder and went out to buy delicious food.

10. Before class, several students wanted to tease the new teacher. During class, Student A was in a disgusting state. The teacher noticed it but ignored him. When the teacher turned to write on the blackboard, Student B immediately poured a box of eight-treasure porridge on the ground. When the teacher turned around, he saw that person. The disgusted classmate thought it was him vomiting. At this time, classmate C was eating on the ground with chopsticks and said, "Hey, this guy ate peanuts for lunch!" The teacher ran out. . . .

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