People cannot choose their parents, so the kind of family they are born into is entirely a matter of personal destiny. There are thousands of flavors in life, the most common one is helplessness. Meeting a pair of parents who are unreasonable, violent, harsh and even unworthy of being parents is probably the greatest helplessness and misfortune in life!

"There are no bad parents in the world", we often hear this sentence. Everyone knows that this is not true. Parents are just mortals. How can they not be at fault? But for the relatives who gave us life and raised us, even if they are sometimes really stubborn and full of mistakes, we as children Besides accepting tolerance and tolerance, what else can we do? Using these words to comfort yourself and others is probably a helpless feeling for many people!

In life, the people who can cause you the greatest harm are often not outsiders, but your relatives. Indeed, after all, you don't have many interactions with outsiders. You spend most of your time with your parents and relatives. Therefore, if your loved ones want to hurt you, they will definitely be hurt very deeply. But you often can't escape or hide from this kind of harm, and you can't express your pain.

I feel hurt, so when I grow up and leave home, I don’t want to forgive my parents, nor do I want to have too much interaction with them. This feeling is completely understandable. However, if you really do this, in the eyes of others, this child's character will definitely be questioned - if he is so grudge-y, so cold and decisive like his parents, then others will offend him, and I'm afraid they will hate him to the bone. , can't tolerate it. Who dares to have a deep friendship with such a person?...

Maybe you really can’t forgive some of the hurt and will never let it go; you may really have deep resentment towards your parents, and you feel heartbroken when you think of all the past. But after all, now that you are an adult and your parents are old, the initiative is in your hands whether to forgive or not, and whether to intersect or not.

If you really made up your mind to ignore them from now on, you probably wouldn’t ask such a question. The reason for the conflict and entanglement is probably because I feel deep down that I can't let go. After all, we are close relatives. We can not forgive, and we can have as few interactions as possible, but how can we really turn a blind eye?

So, this has nothing to do with character, only human nature. Think quietly and think about what you think will make you feel at ease and have a clear conscience, then do it!

I understand you very well, and I understand your heart. You were deeply hurt by your parents, and you don’t want to forgive me. I understand that some hurts can never be forgiven in your life. Some people will say, what is the fault of your parents? ? Holding a grudge is a matter of character. In fact, it has nothing to do with character. Some parents are cruel to their children. They just have never met such parents. Your current situation is to live your life well and remember as little as possible. It hurts to remember it once. Once, I don’t remember it,,,

I am also encountering such a thing now. So I’ve been back home for two years. I still have a phone call at home, but I no longer have the heart of blood being thicker than water. In my eyes, "blood is thicker than water" is just a false proposition.

Because of some things, I was completely heartbroken.

My family is an ordinary family, and my parents are ordinary workers who have retired. From the past to the present, they have been short-sighted, and after experiencing so many things, they are still short-sighted. No matter how much I corrected them, I couldn't reverse it.

For example, the matter of a house. I was born in the early 1990s. Three years later, my family was demolished and my family lived on the main street in the city. The demolition compensation was 10,000 yuan, which was enough to buy a house with supporting facilities in that era. However, my uncle didn’t know why he borrowed the money at that time. Instead of buying a house first, our family lent all the money to his uncle. I didn't understand it before, but now I understand my family's mentality, because at that time my dad still had a single dormitory, and he was probably considering having another place to live, so he lent the money to the uncle who was supposed to be on the 18th floor. . Because my family has a good reputation.

However, after my uncle borrowed money, he had almost no contact with our family. My dad couldn’t bear to ask for money, so my mother took me to ask for money in the name of studying. We went there several times. I didn't meet anyone, but I was caught once. My uncle cried in various ways, saying that money is tight now and he has no money, so he would send it to my family in a few days. (What’s even more ridiculous is that at that time, my uncle lived in a two-bedroom house, while my family lived in a single dormitory. The kind where you have to go downstairs to use the toilet).

A week later, my uncle sent 200 yuan to my family. Haha, he was so shameless. He borrowed 10,000 yuan and it took several years to pay back 200 yuan. How much was the salary in the 1990s? But in the final analysis, this is also a matter of saving face for my family. It is a matter of saving face and suffering. Anyway, that uncle, I have been cursing him for not having a good household registration.

Later, it was a relative who borrowed money. My parents actually asked relatives and friends to help the relative borrow money. (That relative did not pay interest.) Later, when the time came and the relative had not paid back the money, my family scraped together and repaid the money borrowed from relatives and friends with interest. I don’t understand what my family’s three views are. You know, at that time, my dad’s work unit allocated a house with two bedrooms and one living room for RMB 3,000. Instead of buying the house first, they actually borrowed money from relatives. I really, really hate these relatives.

My parents are the kind of honest people with no heart, so they were spotted and taken advantage of by others. Now they have no use value, and no one has any contact with them. Those relatives, I wish I could kill them.

After 2000, my godmother saw that my family had been living in that small house, so she introduced a house to my family. The police station's family building and new house were given to my family free of charge. The house is more than 100 square meters and costs 100,000. The house is right behind the police station. It's such a nice house, but my parents refused because they couldn't afford so much money.

What? You are so active in helping others borrow money, but this is the time to improve your own life, and then you withdraw like this? I don't know what they think. Anyway, from then on, I went to live with my grandmother in the family area of ??another unit opposite my dad's unit, and refused to go back to live there. Yes, I just dislike that so-called home.

Later, my mother’s factory that had closed down long ago was bought out, and there was a compensation. The factory gave you two options, take the money in one go, or give up the compensation, and the company will pay you 15 years of work. Bear that part of social security. I advised my mother to get the compensation, because my mother has already worked in the new company, but has not paid social security yet. There are already rumors that she will pay it (after all, it is a state-owned enterprise subsidiary). My mother is worried that if the new company does not pay, So she chose to give up the compensation.

As it turned out, her choice was wrong. Because the social security in her name has been paid, the new unit does not need to pay social security. She has worked in the new unit for more than ten years and saved the new unit more than 100,000 in social security fees that the unit should bear. And because she doesn’t have to pay social security, her salary is higher, so the tax deducted is higher. But I still have to go to the Social Security Bureau to pay my share. My mother later regretted it.

Later, I graduated from college, but my grandmother was no longer here, so I was homeless. I don't want to go home, I don't want to go to that place. Then, my mother finally got the idea and bought a new house in the family area, fully paid for it. . . . . Then it was fully renovated, and then the whole family was emptied out.

Here comes the important point. It wasn’t until the Chinese New Year in early 2018 that my family suddenly took me to an old neighbor’s house to pay New Year greetings. My old neighbor has two children, a boy and a girl. The girl is in college, has grown up, and is quite beautiful. My parents have been bringing me and her together on WeChat. The old neighbor has liked me since he was a child, so he has the same mentality.

The problem is that I am more than 8 years older than others, and I cannot accept this gap. As a result, since then, my family has brainwashed me from time to time, asking me to go find that girl to play with, and asking me to invite others to come to Changsha to play during their summer vacation, and they pay for it. I know they want to rush the marriage.

That year, house prices rose sharply, and I didn’t have that much money on hand because I hadn’t thought about getting married at the beginning. But my family was so demanding, so I thought, even if I find a partner, I must at least have a family and give them a place to stay.

So I discussed with my parents that I would first take out a loan to buy a house, and they would help me with the down payment, and I would repay the loan and decorate it myself. I had never thought about buying a house so quickly before, nor had I thought about asking them to help me with the down payment. Because they were urging me so urgently, I just said it. They also agreed, but because my social security is not enough, I want to settle through other marginal methods. Because at that time, you could settle in the county, and you could buy a house in the city if you settled in the county (now this policy has changed, and the roads are blocked). There are no elderly people in my family, so my mother regards her brother as the eldest, and the eldest brother is like a father!

As a result, I saw house prices rising continuously. However, my mother’s brother’s family was in Changsha, but he told my family that house prices would not rise. There was no need to rush to buy a house, and the policy would not change. .

(But the news I received is that in more than 2 months, house prices will continue to rise and the policy will change again.) But my mother’s brother said, since your friend is so powerful, why don’t you let him handle all the procedures for you? I had ten thousand alpacas running through my mind at that time. Why don’t you help me? How dare you say such a thing?

Then the process of finding a relationship is quite complicated, because it is all a human relationship, not a penny is involved, and there is nothing illegal at all. It is just asking people to find out the connections.

The result was good. The house I was interested in was a little out of the way, but the development there would be good in the future. The house price had not increased at that time, about 5,000, but my mother didn’t listen to me at all. My mother’s brother recommended it. A house in the same location as the one I'm interested in costs 10,000 per square meter. The difference is the fine decoration. I would like to ask, what kind of luxurious decoration is worth spending an extra 5,000 square meters? But because this was a house recommended by my mother’s brother, my mother believed it so much that she actually wanted to sell her house and give me a down payment to buy that 10,000 yuan per square meter house. I said, you are going to trick yourselves. Come on, I won't buy or see it. At this point, they gave up.

Then, my mother’s nephew (her brother’s son) recommended my family to buy an apartment building, saying that the threshold for an apartment building was low and it was a good deal. Then my parents called me respectively and advised me to buy an apartment building. When I learned the news, I cursed. I said that his family had no good intentions at all and had come up with a bad idea. You don’t even have a house to live in, so why not buy an apartment first? You don’t buy a 100-square-meter house worth 600,000 yuan, but you spend the same price to buy an apartment building with less than 40 square meters? Isn't this a disease of the hat?

Then, my family has always believed in her brother’s words that house prices will not rise and policies will not change, so they will not cooperate with me in settling down. I got mad in the end, but it was already too late. House prices started to rise again, and the policy changed. All bets are off. However, before the policy changed, they bought their son a house in that area for less than 5,000 yuan. Haha, isn’t it disgusting? However, my mother thought it was okay and thought her brother was thinking about them.

In the next three months, I didn’t make a single call to them. I woke up at 3-4 o’clock every night and felt sick. I suddenly woke up from my sleep and thought about what their relatives had done. I feel extremely disgusting.

From then on, I will not go home, and I will not make any movements except calling. I said, give your house to your nephew after a hundred years, I don’t want it. However, if your nephew does not provide for you in old age, then just wait, I will make his family uneasy for three generations, and those who are barefoot are not afraid of wearing shoes.

I know that my mother’s brother is doing it for her own good, because buying a house now will put more pressure on my parents. No one will suffer from illness and death when they get old. How can I save my life if I don’t have money in the future? Isn’t it necessary? Ask him for this brother? Haha, they stopped my mother from buying a house for me, and they said it so fresh and refined, as if it was for the sake of my family. Now that house prices have risen, they don't give a damn.

Until now, my mother has not allowed me to speak ill of her brother. Whenever I do, she will scold me. I didn’t do anything before, but now I just scold him directly. I don’t care. . If you can do it, I can do it too.

To this day, my mother still doesn’t believe that housing prices will rise or policies will change, just because her brother said these words. She didn't believe that her brother would give her bad advice. Believe it or not.

So, now I feel cold. During the Chinese New Year and the holidays, I will just give something to my aunt and my godmother. I have no contact with all other relatives. I have blocked them and deleted them. I don't answer any of their calls.

Because they are all a group of hypocritical people who say nice things and seem to do everything for my own good. Why don't you even give a shit when the results are right in front of you? Why didn't you care about me when I wasn't at work? Why would I make a bad idea when I buy a house?