The complete story of the little white rabbit
1. A bear defecated in the woods, and a rabbit came over. He asked the rabbit: "Is it losing hair?" The rabbit thought for a while and said. "No shedding!" Bear took a puff of cigarette and asked: "Does it shed?" Rabbit looked at Bear and said, "No shedding!" Bear looked at Rabbit with suspicion and asked again: "Really not?" Shedding?" The rabbit shouted impatiently: "If it doesn't shed, it means it doesn't shed!!!" Before he finished speaking, the bear grabbed the rabbit and said..."Sorry, I forgot to bring the paper"
2. The giraffe said: "Little rabbit, I really hope you can know how nice it is to have a long neck." No matter what delicious food I eat, it will slowly pass through my long neck, and the delicious food can be enjoyed for a long time. "
The little white rabbit looked at him expressionlessly.
"And, in the summer, the cold water slowly flows over my long neck, which is so delicious. It’s so nice to have a long neck! Little white rabbit, can you imagine? "
The little white rabbit said slowly: "Have you ever vomited? ”
3. One day, the kangaroo was driving around on the country road and suddenly saw the little white rabbit in the middle of the road, with its ears and body almost completely lying on the ground as if listening to something...
< p> So... the kangaroo stopped the car and asked curiously: "Little white rabbit, may I ask what you are listening to?" ""A large truck passed here half an hour ago..."
"Wow...so awesome! ..how did you know? .."
"He's ****! This is how my neck and legs were broken..."
4. The ant was walking in the forest and suddenly encountered an elephant. The ant quickly dug into the soil and stretched out one leg. < /p>
The little white rabbit was very curious when he saw it, and asked: What are you doing?
The ant quietly said to it:
Shh... don't make a sound, watch me trip. Yayi somersault...
5. One day, the rabbit was writing in front of a cave. A wolf came over and asked: "Rabbit, what are you writing?" "
The rabbit replied: "I am writing a thesis. "
The wolf asked again: "What topic?
The rabbit replied: "I am writing how the rabbit ate the wolf." "
The wolf laughed loudly after hearing this and expressed disbelief.
The rabbit said: "You follow me. "Then after taking it into the cave, the rabbit continued to write in front of the cave. At this time, another fox came and asked: "Rabbit, what are you writing? "
The rabbit replied: "I am writing a thesis. "
The fox asked: "What topic?
The rabbit replied: "How did the rabbit eat a fox?" "
The fox laughed loudly after hearing this, expressing disbelief.
The rabbit said: "You follow me. "Then he took it into the cave. After a while, the rabbit walked out of the cave alone and continued to write his paper.
At this time, a lion was sitting on a pile of bones inside the cave. Picking his teeth, he also read Rabbit's paper: The ability of an animal is not judged by its strength, but by who is the boss behind it
6. One day, the little white rabbit ran Go to the drugstore and ask the boss: "Boss, boss, do you have carrots here?"
The boss said: "No."
The little white rabbit left.
The next day, the little white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss: "Boss, do you have carrots here?"
p>
The boss said: "I told you, no!"
The little white rabbit left.
On the third day, the little white rabbit ran. In the drugstore, I asked the boss: "Boss, boss, do you have any carrots here?"
The boss was anxious: "How many times have I told you?! No!!! If you keep annoying me, I will take them." The vise will pull out all your teeth
!"
The little white rabbit was scared and ran away.
On the fourth day, the little white rabbit ran away Go to the drugstore and ask the boss: "Boss, boss, do you have a vise here?"
The boss said: "No."
The little white rabbit asked: "Well, do you have any carrots?"
The boss was really angry. He took out the vise and cut all the teeth of the little white rabbit.
On the fifth day, the little white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss: "Boss, do you have carrot juice here?"
7. Little White Rabbit The big bear and the big bear were squatting under the tree to defecate.
The big bear said to the little white rabbit: Although you little white rabbits are beautiful, you are troublesome! You can see it if it is stained with dirt. It is quite disgusting. Yes!
The little white rabbit said: Look what you said! Isn’t that right!
The big bear said: Isn’t it! The big bear said as he picked up the little white rabbit and gave it to him I wiped my butt and walked away
......
8. The little white rabbit and the big bear were walking in the forest and accidentally kicked over a pot.
< p>A spirit came out of the pot and said it could grant them three wishes each.The bear said, turn it into the strongest bear in the world. Its wish came true.
The little white rabbit said, give it a small helmet. Its wish also came true.
The bear said, turn it into the most beautiful bear in the world. Its wish came true again.
The little white rabbit said, give it a bicycle. Its wish came true again.
The bear said, turn all other bears in the world into bitches!
The little white rabbit got on the bicycle and ran while saying, turn this bear into a homosexual...
9. The first company
Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?
Rabbit: Not busy.
The boss said to Tutu when he got off work: You don’t have to come tomorrow.
Rabbit: Why?
Boss: Because you can’t do much for the company, that’s why you’re not busy. What does the company want from you?
*The second company
Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?
Tutu: Very busy.
The boss said to Tutu when he got off work: You don’t have to come tomorrow.
Rabbit: Why?
Boss: Because you don’t do things in an organized manner, that’s why you are busy all day long. What does the company want from you?
*The third company
Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?
Tutu: Not bad.
The boss said to Tutu when he got off work: You don’t have to come tomorrow.
Rabbit: Why?
Boss: Because you act irrationally, that’s why you are “ok” and not “ok”. What does the company want from you?
*The fourth company
Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?
Tutu: I just finished my work.
The boss said to Tutu when he got off work: You don’t have to come tomorrow.
Rabbit: Why?
Boss: Because your work efficiency is too low, can’t you just check it after you finish it? What does the company want from you?
*The fifth company
Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?
Tutu: I have finished some of them and checked them, and now I am doing other things. When I got off work, the boss said to Tutu: You don’t have to come tomorrow.
Rabbit: Why?
Boss: Because you lack a systematic way of doing things, why don’t you do some things together? What does the company want from you?
*The sixth company
Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?
Tutu: I have finished my work and am helping others. When I got off work, the boss said to Tutu: You don’t have to come tomorrow.
Rabbit: Why?
Boss: Because you have no plan for doing things, don’t you plan what you want to do tomorrow? What does the company want from you?
*The seventh company
Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?
Tutu: Today’s work is done, so is tomorrow’s work. When I got off work, the boss said to Tutu: You don’t have to come tomorrow.
Rabbit: Why?
Boss: Because you don’t consider the overall situation when doing things, won’t you help your colleagues share their worries? What does the company want from you?
*The Eighth Company
Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?
Tutu: I’ve finished today’s and tomorrow’s work, now I’m helping my colleagues.
The boss said to Tutu when he got off work: You don’t have to come tomorrow.
Rabbit: Why?
Boss: Because you are too pushy, your help is likely to cause laziness or stress in others. What does the company want from you?
*The Ninth Company
Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?
Tutu: Wait a moment, I will think about it before answering you.
The boss said to Tutu when he got off work: You don’t have to come tomorrow.
Rabbit: Why?
Boss: You are arrogant and you kept trying to frustrate me when I asked you questions. What does the company want from you?
*The tenth company
Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?
Tutu: I...I...don't know...how to answer you.
The boss said to Tutu when he got off work: You don’t have to come tomorrow.
Rabbit: Why?
Boss: Because you don’t even know if you are busy or not, what use does the company need from you?
*The Eleventh Company
Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?
Tutu: Damn it, I resigned~~~~~~~~~~
Boss: Hey! If you have personality, our company will not let you go!
10. The little white rabbit jumped to the bakery and asked: "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"
Boss: "Ah, I'm so sorry, there aren't that many"
"That's it..." The little white rabbit walked away dejectedly.
The next day, the little white rabbit jumped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"
Boss: "Sorry, there are still none."
"That's it..." The little white rabbit walked away dejectedly.
On the third day, the little white rabbit jumped to the bakery, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"
The boss said happily: "Yes. Yes, we have a hundred buns today!”
Little White Rabbit took out the money: “Great, I’ll buy two!”
11. A little white rabbit ran happily in the forest.
On the way it met a giraffe who was rolling marijuana.
The little white rabbit said to the giraffe: "Giraffe, giraffe, you Why do you do things that hurt yourself?
Look how beautiful this forest is, let’s run in nature together!”
The giraffe looks at the marijuana smoke, look at it The little white rabbit threw the marijuana cigarette behind him,
followed the little white rabbit and ran in the forest.
Later they met a big man who was preparing to smoke cocaine. Elephant,
The little white rabbit said to the elephant: "Elephant, elephant, why do you do things that hurt yourself?
Look how beautiful this forest is, let's Let's run in nature together!"
The elephant looked at the cocaine and the little white rabbit, then threw the cocaine behind him,
followed the little white rabbit The rabbit and the giraffe were running in the forest.
Later they met a lion who was preparing to fight viper.
The little white rabbit said to the lion: "Lion, why are you doing this?" What about hurting yourself?
Look how beautiful this forest is, let’s run in nature together!”
The lion looked at the syringe, and looked at the little white rabbit , so he threw the syringe behind him,
rushed over and gave the little white rabbit a good beating.
The elephant and giraffe were trembling with fear: "Why are you hitting? Where is the little white rabbit?
It is so kind, caring about our health and asking us to get closer to nature."
The lion said angrily: "This bastard rabbit takes ecstasy every time. Just drag me
and run around in the forest like an idiot.”
12. On the first day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river, but didn’t catch anything, so he went home. .
The next day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river again, but still didn’t catch anything and went home.
On the third day, as soon as the little white rabbit arrived at the river, a big fish jumped out of the river and shouted at the little white rabbit:
If you fucking dare to use that fish again, If you use a radish as bait, I will crush you to death!
13. In order to test the strength of the pol.ice in the United States, Hong Kong, and mainland China, the United Nations placed three rabbits in three forests.
Look at the pol.ice in the three places. Who will find the rabbit first?
In front of the first forest is the American police. They first spent half a day meeting to formulate a combat plan and strictly divided the work, and then
sent special forces quickly Entering the forest to conduct a carpet search, the meeting was delayed, the rabbit ran away, and the mission failed!
Then it was the turn of the Hong Kong police. They sent more than a hundred people and dozens of police cars to the forest. They lined up outside, and the leader used the loudspeaker to shout: "Rabbit, rabbit, you have been surrounded, come out and surrender..." Half a day passed, but there was no movement. Fly
< p>The tiger team entered the forest and searched again, but no results were found. The mission failed!The last one was the Chinese police. There were only four of them. They played mahjong for a day first. At dusk, each person entered the forest with a baton. Five minutes
I heard the screams of animals coming from the forest. A Chinese policeman came out smoking a cigarette and talking and laughing, dragging a man behind him
There was a bear with a bruised nose and swollen face. The bear was dying and said: "Don't fight anymore, I am the rabbit..."
14. The little white rabbit was walking in the forest and met the big bad wolf coming towards him. He came up and gave the little white rabbit two big ear stickers
and said, "I will let you not wear a hat." The little white rabbit retreated aggrievedly.
The next day, she skipped out of the house wearing a hat, and met the big bad wolf again. He walked up and gave the little white rabbit two more
A big mouth, said "I let you wear a hat."
Rabbit was depressed. After thinking for a long time, I finally decided to complain to the king of the forest, Tiger.
After explaining the situation, Tiger said, "Okay, I understand. I will handle this matter. You have to trust the organization." That day
The tiger found his buddy the big bad wolf. "It's not right for you to do this. It's making it difficult for me." After saying that, he wiped the cigarette ashes falling on the table: "Do you think this is okay? You can say, Tutu, come here. , find me a piece of meat!
She found a fat one, and you said you wanted a thin one. She found a thin one, and you said you wanted a fat one, so you can beat her. .Of course
You can also say that. Tutu, come here and find me a woman. You said you like a slim one. Come on, the slim one. If you say you like the plump one, you can beat her properly and forcefully." The big bad wolf nodded frequently, clapped his hands, and his respect for the tiger once again reached a new peak. Unexpectedly, the above guidance work was overheard by the little white rabbit who was weeding the tiger's house outside the window. I feel this hatred in my heart.
The next day, the little white rabbit went out again. What a coincidence, the big bad wolf came towards him. The Big Bad Wolf said: "Rabbit, come here and find me a piece of meat." Rabbit said: "Then, do you want to be fat or thin?" Big Gray After hearing this, the wolf's heart sank and then he felt happy, and he said to himself, fortunately, there is Plan B. He then said: "Tutu, Mali'er find me a woman.
" Tutu asked: "Then, do you like plump ones or slim ones?" The big bad wolf was silent. After 2 seconds, he raised his hand and gave Tutu two big-eared posts. “Fuck, I told you not to wear a hat.
”
15. Three little white rabbits picked a mushroom
The two older ones asked the younger one to get some wild vegetables to eat together
The younger one said If I don’t go, you’ll eat my mushrooms if I leave
The two older ones said they didn’t know how to go, so they went and the little white rabbit went~~~
Half a year The little white rabbit has passed and the little white rabbit hasn't come back yet. The big one said that it won't come back and we have to eat it.
The other big one said to wait~~~
One year has passed. The little white rabbit hasn't come back yet, so the two big ones agreed not to wait for us to eat.
At this moment, the little white rabbit suddenly jumped out of the jungle next to it and said angrily: Look! I knew you guys Want to eat my mushrooms