2. When you're lonely, you open your wallet and look at it, and your heart is instantly balanced. At least I have a wallet and the purse has nothing!
3. What if you don't want to do laundry? Just marry a daughter-in-law! If your daughter-in-law is virtuous, she'll do your laundry; if she's tough, you'll learn to do your laundry.
4. Being ugly is the best self-defense, and ugly people are safe in life.
5. When you were a child, your grandmother called you a tortoise grandson, your mother called you a rabbit, and when you grew up, you were called a single dog, and your whole life is a history of beasts.
6. Doctor: "Can you see the writing on the wall?" Patient: "What words, where?" The doctor snapped a stamp and said, "You passed the hearing test."
7. Please cherish the people who are good to you, otherwise you miss this one and don't know when you will meet another blind one.
8. Q: What is the difference between not being loved and loving the wrong person? God replied: one has no food to eat, the other to eat to shit.
9. My mom always asked me to hand-wash all the clothes, was she found that I secretly used the washing machine she will still be angry, in the end this is why? Could it be that the washing machine is her biological child and I'm the real washing machine?
10. Before getting married, the body is not loaded with a thousand or so are embarrassed to go out. After marriage, go out and load a hundred or two hundred feel very hard!
11. Some people either do not look in the mirror, but look in the mirror, an hour or two are commonplace.
12. man to jump off a building, his wife shouted: honey don't be impulsive, our road is still long! The man heard, whoosh jumped. The police said: you really shouldn't threaten him like that!
13. On the way home, I also saw a lot of takeaway boys running around delivering food, suddenly felt very inspirational, others are still eating so late, what reason do I not eat?
14. Big data show that quitting smoking can extend your life by nearly a decade. So repeatedly quit smoking and then smoking and then quitting again, you will get eternal life.
15. Don't keep asking me if I'm in or not, I say yes, you find me to borrow money how to do, I say no, you invite me to dinner how to do, so directly say what's the matter, I'm good to decide if I'm in or not.
16. When I was a kid, I couldn't figure out why a broken arm would be alive if slitting your wrists would kill you.
17. usually call you often wash your hair, look at your head full of dandruff it! ""What do you know, this is the ashes of the burning flame of wisdom. "
18. Just someone asked me what brand of lipstick on my mouth, I gave her directions, forward all the way, the first intersection turn left that spicy hot pot, remember to tell the boss to put more chili.
19. If life deceives you, don't be sad and don't be anxious, because life will not only deceive you, but even beat you next.
20. The boat of friendship turns over when it is said to, the ship of love sinks when it is said to, and only the canoe of the single dog stands.
21. Husband: "wife, since I got married, my eyesight is out of order! "Wife: "What symptoms? "Husband: "I can't see money! "
22. Stop complaining that you can't find a right person in 1.4 billion people, you can't find a right one for all four options of your multiple choice questions in the exam.
23. In fact, when I was a child, I was quite thin, not fat at all, but then a sentence "no leftovers" ruined my life.
24. The old lady on the public **** car afraid to sit through the station, every station must ask. The car to a stop she repeatedly poked the driver with an umbrella: "This is the exhibition center? ""No, this is the ribs! "