Best friend's son was enrolled in kindergarten a year ago, and since then she's had trouble sleeping and eating. She's always worried that her child won't get along with others, that kids won't play with him, and that he'll be bullied, so she spends her days telling him to be polite, smile when he meets people, and get along with teachers and kids.

But her husband felt that she was not necessary, in his view, the kindergarten is to play, even if the fight is normal, the boys will not be able to fight in the future will be a very weak, so he encouraged his son to go to school to show "strong point", so that others know that he is not to be messed with.

So, is it necessary to have a good relationship with the people around you in order to have a good "social" life? The answer is yes. Because, according to a Harvard University study, children who are "well connected" in kindergarten will be more successful 20 years from now.

Early childhood social skills, affecting 20 years after the achievement

Earlier, Harvard University for the United States kindergarten 2-5 years of age of more than 700 children to do a study, found that early childhood socialization, the child's 20 years after the achievement. The main reason is that this period is a critical period for the growth of children's interpersonal interactions, and also a golden period to lay the foundation for the formation of good social skills in the future.

In addition, the International Commission on Education for the 21st Century also said that one of the four pillars of education includes social skills, and the interpersonal skills and conditions in the kindergarten period will also affect the child's future interpersonal relationships and mental health. Therefore, as parents, you must not neglect the impact of early socialization on your child on the road to parenting.

The child's early socialization is not complicated, and "doing well" in kindergarten is the main manifestation. That is to say, the child in the kindergarten to be able to take the initiative to communicate with the children, in the conflict with the children know how to solve, and get along with the people know how to be courteous, these are in fact the embodiment of social skills. It's just that a more systematic approach is needed to help your child develop the social skills that will make him or her even better 20 years from now.

Children need to be guided by their parents if they want to establish good social skills

Generally speaking, a person with strong social skills should not only be able to talk, but also know how to listen, and know how to resolve conflicts with people around them and establish a healthy relationship. For example: do not arbitrarily interrupt other people's conversations, do the wrong thing to apologize, encounter problems will take the initiative to solve, know how to think about others, know how to seek the help of others in difficulty, know how to control their emotions and so on.

Specifically, how can parents guide their children to develop good social skills?

First, create a safe and comfortable social environment for your child. Because only in a safe enough environment can children dare to take the initiative to socialize with others and have the confidence to express themselves. This requires parents to create a warm and loving environment for their children at home, and to be respectful and friendly when they are with their children. When the child out of the house, parents should encourage, guide and accompany him to contact with people.

Secondly, respect your child's social choices. As parents, when guiding their children to socialize, they should not overly interfere with their children's socialization. For example, when playing in the park, parents should not always let their children play with their peers or children of the same gender, and prevent children from contacting those who are older, less clean and adults. If there is no freedom in socialization, only rules and regulations, then the child will never learn to really socialize. Because socialization is open-ended and children will always meet all kinds of people, the more people a child is guided to meet now, the more comfortable he or she will be in dealing with social problems later. Also, just because a child has contact with a few people doesn't mean that he or she will remain close to anyone. It's only after the child has tried to socialize that he or she will be able to figure out who he or she can be "friends" with.

Finally, teach your child to deal with social problems. Tell your kids that it's normal to have conflicts with others, but that problems need to be solved, and that tantrums and avoidance are not a good solution. Let the child find out the problem, analyze the problem, solve the problem, do not take excessive behavior.