I heard that the post-95s have crossed the Dink and are directly not married

文\影子\

Readers familiar with my readers know that I kinda love to chase after the hotspot of the marriage, probably from the bottom of my heart, I think that the marriage is a very beautiful thing.

To be honest, I envy everyone who marries true love.

Last weekend I went to the photo cheating, go to the place is considered a European theme town.

The town is a variety of European-style buildings, there are many floral decorative backdrops, a river, a church, a balloon bridge, and greenery. All in all it is a very nice environment, so nice that many couples take wedding photos there.

Looking at those girls in wedding dresses with their arms around their boyfriends in suits, there are special people to light her, lift her skirt, and make up for her, and all she needs to do is to smile at the camera, and the happiest moments are framed in the photo frame.

To be honest, I am quite envious, I also want to hold the hand of my favorite person, together in the church to make a wish, blowing the wind in the river, kissing under the balloon, walking in the jungle.

Marriage is really a beautiful thing.

Thanks to those couples, I have seen all kinds of wedding dresses, Chinese and Western, red or white, slim or puffy, bustier or strappy, flounced or long, all very beautiful, but the beauty is a little bit the same.

Then I saw a couple, the girl in a baby blue wedding dress, her future husband in a navy blue suit, they lay in the grass and kissed. I don't think I can describe in words how beautiful that wedding dress was, it was very much like what I really wanted, special but not out of the ordinary, it looked expensive but not ostentatious, classy but grounded.

They should have been the biggest winners of the show.

Later I told my friend about this, she said her sister's wedding dress is pure white, no embellishments at all, and she liked it so much that she didn't feel a thing when she saw anything else. She also showed me the photos, is really very simple and generous, at first glance plain to not eye-catching, as long as to look at a glance but can no longer move the eyes.

Fluid, pure, natural, not just want this wedding dress, also want this wedding.

I want to hold my favorite person together with the salute, in the eyes of all the people to say I do, and then go to the place where no one knows us to spend the honeymoon, he looked at me to fall asleep, I looked at him to wake up.

The imagination about marriage is undoubtedly beautiful, but marriage, I really dare not.

It seems that not only me, most of the post 95 are afraid of marriage.

?

Recently, Aurora Big Data released a "Post-95 Group Portrait Research Report", which collects the application behavior of the post-95s on more than 500,000 APPs and y analyzes this group of people.

The group portrait report shows that the proportion of people who declare that they will never get married for the rest of their lives is gradually increasing in the post-75, post-85 and post-95 crowds. Among them, only 10% of the post-75 crowd are non-married, 13% of the post-85 non-married, and nearly 20% of the post-95 non-married.

From the gender point of view, the tendency of non-marriage of post 95 women is significantly higher than men, women accounted for 22.5%, men only 14.4%. The non-married people generally believe that love does not need marriage, and marriage may even be the grave of love.

We are all caught in such a strange circle, want to wear a wedding dress, want to take wedding photos, want to have a cute baby, want to have a significant other, want a home, but do not want to get married, do not want to bring up children, do not want to buy a house, do not want to fall in love.

Instead of saying that we don't want to get married, it is better to say that we are afraid of marriage.

So what exactly are we afraid of?

?

The American humanist psychologist Maslow put forward the theory of the hierarchy of needs, he divided human needs into physiological needs, security needs, social needs, respect needs and self-actualization needs of five categories, in turn, from the lower level to the higher level.

So what kind of person can fulfill our needs for marriage?

First of all, physiological needs mean that you must be able to eat, wear and be healthy together.

First of all, physical needs mean that you must be able to eat and wear clothes and be healthy. Without a normal couple life pass, without economic basis of the relationship pass, wandering life pass, ate the first day of the next day pass.

Safety needs means that the domestic violence, unhealthy health, infectious diseases do not want to interact with the person.

Social needs mean that in addition to family activities, you have your own private space, your own circle of friends, your own social activities, and your own work environment.

The need for respect means that two people have to be able to do the basic respect, trust and sincerity in the process of getting along. The truth is that after two people get to know each other well enough, they can easily get bored or even disgusted with each other, and it's really hard to respect each other.

The need for self-actualization even means that, in addition to taking care of the family, two people after marriage have to have extra time and energy to pursue their own higher ideals or pursuits.

Take the recent social news, some time ago, there is a netizen was domestic violence and even spent millions of dollars to augment the breasts were broken, a woman in pain asked for a cesarean section but was forced by her family members to give birth, and finally had to jump off the building, there is also a woman at home was killed by her husband's body in the refrigerator to hide for half a year before they were found.

Not to mention what self-realization needs, now the marriage, can meet the security needs, can let you live in peace and health have been considered good luck.

Marriage is a tomb of this sentence, where is the analogy, is simply in the reality okay!

?

Besides, a relationship is just a matter of two people, while marriage is a matter of two families, if you meet someone, nine times out of ten that family is scum. The two of you together can make the two families are more happy, and in the end it is likely that you not only did not benefit from the marriage, but by the other side as well as the other side of the family dragged down.

Marriages that are supposed to be 1+1>2 end up being 1/n<1.

People who are stuck arguing in the kitchen versus the living room every day don't have time to fulfill their social needs.

Respect needs are even less likely to be met when faced with unreasonable in-laws.

Between the chickens coming home to roost, it's nice to not collapse, and self-actualization needs are even more unthinkable.

We fear marriage because it doesn't fulfill our needs.

We want a significant other, but we're not sure that person is solid enough to spend the rest of our lives with.

We want a cute kid, but aren't always sure we have the time and energy to give him the best education.

We want a warm home, but don't have the ability to put a down payment on it or save money to pay off a lifetime of loans.

We want to take wedding photos and want a wedding, but do not dare to face the problems that will arise in the marriage, and do not want to spend the day in the woods, oil, salt, vinegar and tea.

We want to get all the beauty of marriage, but do not want to bear the pain of divorce, rather than married and divorced, it is better not to get married.

So ah, married are martyrs, the most heroic kind.

Those who don't get married are deserters, the most sensible kind.

I'm Shadow, a young woman of literature delayed by the aerospace industry.

Sometimes sharp and pointed, sometimes passionate artifice. I just want to write the story into your heart.

This article to myself, but also to the warmth of you, may we all be treated gently by the world.

This article is for myself and for you.