01

Why do you compromise again and again in your relationship?

Before answering this question, let me first share with you a true story that happened to me.

Xiaoyu and Dafei are both my college classmates. They got together after graduation. Not long ago, Dafei got a promotion and saved enough money to prepare a mortgage for a two-bedroom apartment. Then they received the certificate marry.

It was originally a happy event, but unexpectedly the conflict between the two people escalated again and again when they were preparing to buy a house. First, Dafei refused to use Xiaoyu's provident fund loan because he didn't want his new house to have anything to do with Xiaoyu, and he couldn't explain it clearly when he saved it.

Then he refused to give the Xiaoyu family a betrothal gift because he felt that they were in a free love relationship and should not follow the old-fashioned and cumbersome etiquette of the older generation.

Xiaoyu wanted to wear a white wedding dress, but Dafei’s mother thought white was unlucky and refused to let her wear it. She insisted that they have a Chinese-style wedding and wear bright red Xiuhe.

So, during the preparations for the wedding, Xiaoyu was always unhappy, but he still compromised one by one. A group of our old classmates felt aggrieved for her. To put it in a romantic novel, when Xiaoyu looked at Dafei, there were stars in her eyes. She loved Dafei very much.

But Dafei and his family had no intention of giving up. Xiaoyu had saved nearly 100,000 yuan after working for several years. She and Dafei discussed using the money to buy a car as a dowry. But who knew Da Fei was firmly opposed to it, he said with a hint of ridicule: "What your mother's family brought is the dowry, what is the dowry if you buy a car for yourself? If you want to buy a car, let your parents get the money, and your money can't be touched for the time being." , we will have a lot of money to spend after we get married."

Xiaoyu also became angry: "You don't want to add my name to the house, and you don't want to give me the bride price, and now you want my parents to pay for the dowry. , Does that make sense?"

Da Fei said confidently: "Although the house doesn't have your name, we don't live in it? Did I collect the rent from you, but it was mine after the wedding? "Isn't all your money your own money?"

Perhaps due to the accumulation of grievances, Xiaoyu became more serious about buying a car. After the two quarreled several times, Da Fei said harshly that if she used the money to buy a car, they would be done with it.

Later, when Xiaoyu moved out of Dafei’s house, he said to us with a smile: "Do you know? Over the years, every time we encountered something that we were arguing about, he would force us to break up." I compromise.

This time, I don’t want to compromise anymore, because I finally understand that only the worst men will use a woman’s deep love as a bargaining chip to force her to compromise step by step. >

So, the reason why women repeatedly compromise in relationships is not because they have no self, but because they love too deeply. However, not all men are worthy of this love.

02

A man who forces you to compromise in the name of love will never force you to compromise just once or twice. In the end, you will find that you will compromise even yourself. I don’t recognize myself anymore.

Everyone has a bottom line, but in relationships, many people's bottom line will become unlimited because of love. It will drop again and again, and in the end they will become numb, and even the most basic sense will become numb. and thinking no longer exist.

In order to keep their love, some silly girls work as mothers and nannies at the same time. They don’t dare to check their boyfriends’ cell phones or ask questions about their whereabouts. They rush to wash the dishes as soon as they arrive at their parents-in-law’s house.

Then he will be grateful for your sensibleness and feel sorry for your efforts? Let me tell you, he won't. He will only be proud and want to see more. How far can you bow? You must always believe in one sentence. The biggest failure of human evolution over thousands of years is that it has never gotten rid of the common problem of pushing too far.

Love is beautiful, but it’s still not worth losing yourself. Life is confusing. If you have lost yourself, who can you expect to save you?

03

You can compromise for love, but only voluntarily, otherwise, the compromise will become meaningless.

The most important thing in a relationship is to achieve a certain balance, otherwise problems will arise sooner or later. Because those who are favored will only slowly get used to it, and then push for more and more, while those who keep giving and compromising will sooner or later have a mental breakdown in the face of a valley where they can't hear a response even if they shout at the top of their lungs.

Two people who are evenly matched can go the longest, and the most comfortable state between two people is when I understand your difficulties, you understand my difficulties, and we do our best to prevent each other from getting along. Difficult.

In fact, in relationships, giving and being needed is also a kind of happiness. The happiness of pampering someone who knows how to be grateful and paying for someone who is worthy is self-evident.

Just like if I like you, I will give you all the candies in my pocket, but I still feel that I have not given enough, and I want to grab two more candies from others and give them to you.

However, if I didn’t give it to you, you took the initiative to ask me for candy, and threatened me that if I didn’t give you candy, you would stop playing with me. Then, even if I give you the candy and you continue to play with me, I won't have a lot of fun.

Because you only play with me because I have candy in my pocket and I am willing to give it to you. I and you are just gifts of candy.

Good love comes naturally, but bad love will make you compromise.